And Then...

Pursuit of a Soul Searcher

2011-01-21T14:21:00.001+05:30

When your eyes wander across the chaos,
in search of your identity,
lost in the worldly machinations,
they reveal the depth of your pursuits,
It is then that I seek refuge,
in the silences that sing about my quests…
Are they your pursuits, or mine?

Circa 2010

2010-12-31T16:58:00.004+05:30

Times and dates are man's inventions. So when the calendar is changing from 2010 to 2011, it is not that something is happening to our surroundings or nature or human minds. It is only that a number is changing. I wonder if people would have celebrated if there were no months but only days, numbered till infinity or if man developed the date co-ordinates with non-recurring unique names/numbers. By curious observations through science, mankind has given recurring scale co-ordinates to the movement of this planet and hence people feel that something is going to start now. In reality, I do not think anything new will happen as such, because what is changing is only the number on the calendar. The mind is still the same and so are the thoughts and they are not dictated by numbers we used to differentiate the time movements. Anyway, I do not mean to sound weird by writing all this. It is just my take on New Years day or Birthdays etc. But then, having accepted the system, we just tend to go with the flow and adapt ourselves to it. I too am trying the same. Now that 2010 is ending (what if some mathematician or scientist tells us that today is actually December 27th and not Dec 31st? Like how they change the time in their watches in the west, for Daylight saving etc.Will people change their calendars and cancel their Celebrations plans?), I too, like a million bloggers out there writing a "yearly round up", wanted to write one. I wouldn't have written one if it were a mere change in year. I am writing it only because 2010 was indeed an eventful year for me, compared to 2009, 2008, 2007. And it is that 'eventful'ness that I wish to record here.

2010 was perhaps a turning point for me, in ways more than one. The year began with me being with lot of operations related tasks - for my wedding and my sister's wedding. By a strange coincidence, both the weddings were on consecutive days.

I have seen people getting married and I knew that I would be in the line of fire too. But I was never much inclined towards this institution called marriage as such. Yes, I was open to living with a person with whom I would be striking that extreme level of comfort zone, in all my variant moods, temperaments and emotions. But whether to legally/socially bind with with this tag called Marriage - thats something I always wondered! But then, living in a South-Indian brahmin household, it would be considered too bohemian if I'd say that "I would like to live with this person". Lot of people tell me that people mellow down as they age and that the rebellious spark in them would soon fade out, once they move from 18 to 21 to 25 to 27. I don't know how much of a rebel i was and how much of it got faded. Sometimes I feel that it (if ever it existed), only intensified. I remember the days, my teens especially, when I used to visit a temple everyday. And now, I do visit it, but only when I feel like. And I have successfully kept away from crowded temples since last 3 years. For example, Tirupati - I am not sure if I'd visit it again ever, unless, by some miracle, they impose a curfew there and give only me the visiting pass for a day. Anyway, to end the digression, I feel there are facets of me which have mellowed down over years and there are facets of me which have become more aggressive. Going through the social function (of money spilling) called Marriage was inevitable. No matter how much I tried to keep it as a low-key affair, I have been snubbed by my previous generation and I had to give in. I drew a lesson here. I am not going to do the same, to my next generation.

Living with a new person in life, a life partner, was something I was apprehensive about. Apprehensive because I was more concerned about the person who would be sharing this space. I know and I have been told by my parents, that I am not an easy man to live with. So I wondered if she would really adjust. Looks like she managed well. And the peace of mind, i derive, out of this thought that I ended up marrying not some stranger but someone who is my alter-ego, in multiple dimensions... that's a great solace for me, that keeps me going even when I am entangled with negativities. Life gets lot easier when you live with a person who reads your silences and responds back with actions you'd expect. Not just about the match in the thought-frequencies and wave-length in the daily course of living, but a match in the likes/dislikes also adds more colour to life. I guess I couldn't have asked for more. It is like how a composer knows the precision of single note at a point of time. Just by a strange combination of knowledge, instinct and skill. You know what is exactly right and anything little more or little less is just going to spoil it. I do not have any skill but atleast by knowledge and instinct, I feel for sure that my partner is the exact fit, in my scheme of things.

If a compatible partner is one large and important part of the story, then having extremely wonderful in-laws with hardly any generation gap is another part. Imagine me experiencing a generation gap with my parents and yet not feeling the same when it comes to in-laws. Too cool eh!

I was/am extremely happy for my sister too, who got a fantastic person as her partner and a wonderful family. And ofcourse, I did enjoy the whole 2-day function affair.

2010 is also the year in which I took one of my interests seriously and made in into a passion, all thanks to my sister and her husband. They gifted me a DSLR and I immediately started learning it. Now I am about 7 months into it and although there is a huge pool out there from which I need to learn a lot, the growth so far has been satisfactory. It helped to think, to form my own school of thought, my own aesthetics etc. Aesthetics, many times, actually get borrowed... since, when we tend to like something, we indirectly appreciate the person who created it. And somewhere, the influence of that person does run in the mind. I think it is more true in the case of arts. But then, the aesthetics are not mere legacies that are passed on. Aesthetics get mixed up too, with our influences and our own innate thoughts. So, I think, the end result is a mishmash of influences and own signatures. I am still exploring myself and my thoughts using photography but the journey so far as been totally liberating. It is indeed a way of knowing myself a bit more.

The birthday surprise I got this year was probably the biggest surprise ever, in my life. A book of my poetry and photography. It also set a benchmark, for me and I am not sure if I will be able to live up to that or beat that. And by the way, I turned T-H-I-R-T-Y!

2010 was not all completely rosy too. I did have my share of few tensions, the shadows of which might hark again. But for now, I am ready to become one of the 3 monkeys, who refuses to see anything bad.

I have learnt to ignore lot of things in 2010. This has added a lot of energy to my patience levels. I have learnt to ignore negativities. More importantly, I am still trying to ignore things on which I have no control. I am trying to be less reactive about them. For instance, I am stopped being hopeful about the state of this country. I am quite convinced that greed has taken over the society. The levels of corruption in India would result only in multiplication of corruption. I mean, what if 98 out of 100 have 'don't care' attitude! I get to see this attitude even on our roads. Just count the number of vehicles that zoom past you on the right-side of the road, when you are waiting in a traffic jam. India is there... going to dogs. and I wouldn't even complain much about it, because I alone cannot change it. People themselves are not interested to change anyway. So, together lets all rot anyway, in this kind of system. And I would ignore this too.

I did good amount of traveling this year. I went to Goa in the beginning and then to Jim Corbett National Park in April. I also had been to Chennai couple of times and even to Bangalore. Had another trip to Delhi, Agra and Jaipur in December.

The 31st December Euphoria invariably makes people to plan things for the New Year. Call them resolutions or plans or whatever. Most people have new year resolutions. People who think that taking resolutions is cliche` or people who do not believe in resolutions, also do plan few things but would flinch at calling them as "Resolutions". I fall in the 2nd category. Yes, I do need to change few things in my life... some big and some small... but collectively speaking, a huge change is imperative, in the way I function. But I do not wish to publicize them. I just have them on the top of my mind and I hope I just work on them.

Adieu 2010! With all the mixed bag given to me, it is still a very important year in my life. And then, it all has to balance out anyway! I think it did, fairly well! But then i still have so many questions unanswered. A good part of my formative years is still breathing inside me. I still have many questions around many things and the habit of curiosity and question did not die anyway. So I think I got to keep pursuing the path, no matter how fast or slow the dates on the calendar change. After all, there are so many dreams, the seeds of some are still not sown.

Wishing everyone wonderful moments, no matter what the date is.

Life beckons! Bye!

You Know My Name...

2010-11-03T18:28:00.001+05:30

This remains as my all time favourite.

If you take a life, do you know what you’ll give?
Odds are you wont like what it is
When the storm arrives would you be seen with me?
By the merciless eyes I’ve deceived
I’ve seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line
Arm yourself because no one else here will save you
The odds will betray you and I will replace you
You can’t deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you …are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name

If you come inside things will not be the same
When you return to the night
If you think you’ve won you never saw me change
The game that we’ve been playing
I’ve seen this diamond cut through harder men
Than you yourself, but if you must pretend
You may meet your end
Arm yourself because no one else here will save you
The odds will betray you and I will replace you
You cant deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you …are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name

Try to hide your hand, forget how to feel
Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel
Arm yourself because no one else here will save you
The odds will betray you and I will replace you
You cant deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you …are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name.

Written & Composed by: David Arnold and Chris Cornell; Film: Casino Royale

Eyeball of the Sky

2010-07-05T13:50:00.001+05:30

Eyeball of the Sky
Originally uploaded by Kamal Aakarsh

Rainbowed Sprinkles

2010-05-19T13:52:00.001+05:30

Rainbowed Sprinkles
Originally uploaded by Kamal Aakarsh

Just a ray of sunlight gives way for so much of beauty

Bach to Basics

2010-04-02T00:22:00.001+05:30

“Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

- Richard Bach

Aaromale (O` Beloved)

2010-03-10T19:05:00.001+05:30

O breeze, wafting through the mountains...
O breeze, bedecked like a bridegroom...
Descending after worshipping the cross at the altar...
God's own country shall consent for a warm welcome..

O` Beloved....O` Beloved...
Aaromale!

In the sacred fragment of this auspicious moment...
O Bride, May you be blessed with a long wedded life...
In the inner sanctum of the dark night...
O Star..what are withholding yourself for?
Like a ray of light in the mist of the dawn...
My lady! Are you standing afar?

On the withering boughs O` cuckoo, did you sing sweetly?
Did the festive fragrances trace the crimson flames in the earthen lamps?

O` Beloved....O` Beloved...
Aaromale!

Does the sea still possess the love... to serenade the shore?
Does the love still fathom in the heart... to be melted like wax?

In the sacred fragment of this auspicious moment...
O` Bride, may you be blessed with a long wedded life...
In the inner sanctum of the dark night...
O` Star..what are withholding yourself for?
Like a ray of light in the mist of the dawn...
My lady! Are you standing afar?

O` Beloved....O Beloved...
Aaromale!

Original Malayalam Lyrics: Kaithapram; Translation by: Anonymous; Source: Wikipedia; Film: Vinaithaandi Varuvaaya

For my Dad

2010-02-22T00:04:00.002+05:30

I cant remember if I wished for anything in my life this strongly.. but today I want to...

I don't know if I have to ask God or science or whatever...

1 more day...

And I just hope my wish gets answered... by some miracle.

Praying!

Aur Phir yun Hua...

2010-01-18T15:42:00.001+05:30

Aur phir yun hua...
Raat ek khawab ne jagaa diya,
Aur phir yun hua..
Raat ek khawab ne jagaa diya,
Phir yun hua, chaand ki woh dali ghul gayee,
Aur yun hua, khawab ki woh ladi khul gayee,
Chalti rahee be-nooriyaan,
Chalte rahe andheron ki..roshni ke tale..
Phir nahii so sake..
Ek sadi ke liye...hum diljale..
Phir nahii so sake...
Ek sadi ke liye.. hum diljale..
Aur phir yun hua, Subah ki dhool ne udaa diya..
Aur phir yun hua, Subah ki dhool ne udaa diya..
Phir yun hua, chehre ke naksh sab dhul gayee,
Aur yun hua, gard the.. gard mein rul gaye,
tanhaaiyaan odhe hue..
galte rahe bheege hue..
Aansuon se gale...
Phir nahii so sake, ek sadi ke liye hum diljale,
Ek sadi ke liye hum diljale...

Written by: Gulzar; Music: Vishal Bharadwaj; Source: Soundtrack of Striker

Society

2009-11-25T17:28:00.001+05:30

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society! you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society! you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinking more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how are you keeping score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops.
Kinda like you're starting from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society! you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society! crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me
Society! have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.
Society! crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...
without me.

written by Jerry Hannan. Performed by Eddie Vedder. From the OST of 'Into the Wild'

Sick'ed

2009-11-09T12:06:00.000+05:30

The temperature on the thermometer reads 102. And it is 3rd day already. Thats enough for my parents to confine me to bed, bread and coconut water. The last time i had a high temperature was in 2006. The temperate was 105 and I had an exam the next day morning and I also had a marriage to attend.

Till i was 26, I never had fever attacks frequently. I might have gone through Typhoid and Jaundice, but in all, fever might have struck me hardly 6 times. But ever since I started working, fever seems to be striking atleast once in a year. Apart from that, other health hazards keep popping up, thanks to my immobile job. I remember once my middle-finger (no pun intended), developed such a swelling and pain, that i did not understand what happened. It happened overnight. Then, my infamous leg fracture, which kept me on bed for 2 months. That was an year ago.

In all, if i look back, I think health issues are on rise and I need to do something about it. An exercise is a must for sure and I need to diligently practise morning walk or jog, once i am back in proper shape. I need to change my food habits too. Its high time i have proper breakfast in the morning. I have been skipping it. And yes, i need to have more fruits.

One decision I am glad about is that I have kicked hard liquor. And it is not a conscious decision but something that just came out of distaste during a moment. Last week I had vodka and strangely, I could not have it comfortably. I had to throw it. There was a time when i used to have only vodka and now, there came a day when i felt "enough is enough". I dont think i will have vodka again. And i feel good about it. Like they say, there is a moment for everything.

There is a reason behind this post. I want it to serve as a note, written by me, that reminds me that I need to get little conscious about my health and eating habits. The thought is running in my mind and i dont want to keep it there. I am afraid i might ignore the thought, but if it atleast stares at me, from my blog, I can get little more conscious about my care or negligence, as the case may be. I think this post is a good barometer, for the days to come. Let me see how i fare.

For now, its time to get back to my tablets, bread, coconut water and a nice book to read. A book is such a wonderful companion, especially when you are tied to bed with sickness. I dont know if sickness is a boon or a bane, but I am having time for myself.

Truncated Thoughts

2009-10-13T22:51:00.001+05:30

Life happens only once.And it is up to us to make the most out of it, by what we do, what we want to do and the people we choose to share moments with . Just one life! And still, it is strange that people have hundred reasons to enjoy chasms and negativities instead of enjoying life by instilling more positivities, togetherness, good friendships, good dreams and a feel-good inclusive attitude. Why do people always look for a reason to break, instead of making something? Be it a relationship or society or life or whatever. There is always a disintegration instead of consolidating and making the existing things stronger. People are not happy with relationships, they break. Families are not happy with the generation gaps and they break. The less I talk about society, the better, for it has always been disintegrating. Why cant people live life normally, in a simple and healthy way, drawing all the good things of their life (be it goals, or people or whatever) into their orbits and by having fun with them? Do we have multiple chances to live life? no... Just one and yet, people make such idiotic choices to please some idiosyncratic moment or idiosyncratic facet of their personality, calling it "the best thing for the moment". A moment doesnt make a lifetime right.

Life as such has its own way of getting back at us. Disappointments are always there, that arise out of chances or situations or from certain sequences of events which are outside our control. Then why cant people manage things that are atleast in their control? Why do people want disappointments apart from the ones that life throws at us? Every person has his own path of life, which will come to an end one day. Then what exactly are people chasing? A good quality of life. It can be in any form, but what ultimately matters is a good quality of life, characterised by happiness, wise choices, intellectual enrichment, fun, affections, people, ability to whatever we want to do and ofcourse the contentment. Are all these threads too difficult to keep? Do we have to compromise on something to get another? or Do we have to ruin one element to win another? Even 2 sworn enemies will smile at each other, may be, when they are at the gateway of death. Then what would make people foment so much negativity in their lives, when they have just 1 lifetime to lead? Why cant people just be, with all the good things that matter to them? Afterall it is just One Life and people are still caught up with the micro-level negative aspects instead of weaving beauty by dwelling more on macro-level aspects of living.

Either I am wrong in expecting all this? Or I need another land/planet to dwell with my idealism, if people call it so.

Living is a customisable art, that no 'art of living' course can teach. But why is that not many want to be an artist in that! And I am disappointed with that.

The Visit

2009-08-26T15:32:00.001+05:30

As the sun sets starts a new life,
Inexpressive and exhausting…
In my dim eyes, then, you can read,
Few unwritten verses …
rain-kissed songs of soul...
The beats of the heart,
Now steady…now missing…
In my utterances you can hear,
Those silences which were...
orphaned by words...
but embraced by music...
But once the sky wears the midnight,
and as I close my eyes, for a dream,
I see you writing my verses,
And I hear you singing my song,
A wind-swept song which fades into silence,
As I wake up…

Epoch

2009-08-18T15:15:00.001+05:30

It is the strangest thing,
I speak to you and my words ring out.
All around they resound.
In nearby streets, far off groves,
In fields and woods beyond the rivers,
In your room and in my home.
And it is good that they should.
These smiles, sighs…gasps and cries,
Have learnt to travel beyond, in skies,
And I feel this mighty echo,
Is just a sign of present epoch…

What Is Love Like?

2009-06-28T00:50:00.001+05:30

“What is love like, mother?”,
Asked the little girl.
“Is it like the sight of a butterfly,
Dancing with spright on a blooming daffodil,
Sucking the light of the dawn?
Or like solemn silence,
Singing with the meadow winds?
Is it like the music we hear on a sea-shore?
Or like the songs that fill a night lit by the moonshine?"

"Is it like a rainbow piercing a silhouette,
after it rained in sunlight?
Or like the perfume of the parched earth,
drenched in a summer rain?
Or is it like a dewdrop hanging,
On a lush green leaf?"

“what is love like mother?”,
asked the girl again.
“Is it like a melodious lullabye putting us to sleep?
Or like the sleep that peeps,
Through the eye-lids of a baby?

Why are you mute mother?”, she asked.
Mother wore a smile and said,
“I was thinking of you dear,
it is exactly like You”.

2009-06-14T22:39:00.001+05:30

Can two like-minded people, who have strong sense of individualities turn away from each other, just to let their individualism stay intact, instead of their like-mindedness?

If yes, for what? who gained what? who lost what?

We & Us

2009-04-30T01:02:00.001+05:30

This fragile piece of glass between us,
through which we keep looking at each other...
let it lie... as it is...
do not touch it... do not break it...
for it is our only hope,
to know each other...
looking at each other...

So what if it is a mirror!
we can still live with our contradictions,
looking at each other...

In the wink of Eternity...

2009-04-17T09:03:00.001+05:30

And my eyelids parted ways...
for the echo of the wink,
that resonated through Space
and reached eternity....
For when you are gone...
gone are the reasons to wink....
and to relive moments of euphoria.
With every wink now,
come more reasons to never open these eyes....
but my eyelids, they part ways, still
hoping you'll hear the echos of the silence
resonating in your heart...
I await those eyes, for in them lie
My reasons to live again...
My reasons to reach eternity....

Author: Anonymous

Ecstasy <=> Reethigowla

2009-04-15T18:14:00.001+05:30

When Ecstasy builds up,

it is like raga Reethigowla bubbling.

And feet dont tend to feel the ground.

A Soul'o

2009-04-09T09:54:00.002+05:30

It came looking for just a single note probably...
But when it found many, it didn't leave and stayed on.
My soul might have mistaken my body for a flute,
and began playing the song of life ever since...

Of Slumdog Millionaires, Mountains & Molehills...

2009-03-25T00:52:00.001+05:30

Everyone has an opinion on the film 'Slumdog Millionaire'. The movie has been the muse and theme of every journalist, film-maker, blogger, artist, politician and jobless people too. I never had any opinion on the film, when i watched it 4 months ago. Yet, i seem to be having one now, and my opinion is much more an opinion on the opinions of people rather than on the film itself.

I first heard of Slumdog Millionaire probably in July 2008, when i read somewhere that lyricist Gulzar has written one song for a Hollywood film. Later, I read/heard a lot about this film sweeping many awards in various film-festivals. Infact, the first prediction about composer A.R.Rahman winning an Oscar for this film came from writer-director Anurag Kashyap, on his blog and i got curious only after reading that post. I got the soundtrack eventually and was surprised at the euphoria that has caught up for that music; the music was not ARR's best and i didnt understand why it was clicking. Few days after that, I watched the film and i understood that the way music has been treated in the film was different. Instead of pure orchestral or techno scores laid in the background, here is a film which 'sells' music on the face, in certain sequences. It was different and the difference turned into a shock-value that got all the attention and it just caught along.

Coming to the film, i neither liked it nor disliked it. It was just a watch for me. Nothing more, nothing less. Technically, it was brilliantly shot and the director did handle the kids and their performances well. And the theme of the film, 'Keep the Hope Alive', was well-intended, although they did not effectively translate such a noble theme into heart-wrenching emotional content. That it is hyped up is no surprise. Yet, it was just a time-pass watch. That's about it. And i moved on.

What really amused me was the sharp criticism that came thundering down, for no reason. A section of people had a problem with the film, for no reason. The reasons they cited, in the newspapers and website, seemed so frivolous that I couldn't help laughing everytime I read such opinions.

Reason#1: Mis-representation of India.
My take: Every year, more than a dozen mainstream films have the same theme of 'promiscuity', irrespective of the premise of the film (be it sexed up thrillers from mahesh bhatt camp or movies on corporate business houses or on film industry or page-3 media on fashion industry or on people living in metros etc etc.) and nature of the characters. Are they not showing Indian people in poor light in such films, as sex-starved licentious morons unhappy with their current relationships? How come we applaud such films then? And i don't quite get one basic logic. If SDM being shot in India, makes it complete India, then can we consider all those NRI-catering Hindi films to be Hollywood/British Films? That reminds me, i recently watched a film called "Outsourced", in which an American manager in a firm visits the Indian call-centre office and trains the team there. He eventually falls in love the team-lead, an Indian lady from a conservative household. In one of the scenes, they get to spend a night in a hotel room and they indulge in the cardinal mischief. In the morning, when she wakes up, she tells him that nobody should know about it and later tells him that she is already engaged to someone else. Now this got me thinking - How come people did not raise a cry on this? How did they allow the director to show an Indian woman as an unscrupulous bitch? Is it not misrepresentation of Indian woman? or of Call Centre Employees?

Reason#2: Willful portrayal of India as 3rd world country by insulting Indians
My Take: Oh! Boy! This is imagination. Who wrote the book firstly? An Indian. coming to portrayal, what exactly did the film-maker portray? Slums? Well, a 1000 Hindi films portrayed slums before this film. probably 75% of Hindi films in 1980-90 era were based in slums, with protagonist (Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Govinda etc) jumping into a bathroom where a nymphet is bathing. How come no one raised a cry then? Did everyone feel proud about that? how come we never bothered about all those slumdogs before? oh! they never swept any awards. So, valid enough. since this film is hogging the attention, we ought to be sure that we are shown decently there, even if we are not.

Reason#3: Exporting Poverty-porn, exploitation of poverty, blah blah..
My Take: Would people label it the same, if the film-maker was an Indian? Decades ago, there were 2 genius film-makers in India, by names Satyajit Ray and Rithwik Ghatak. They made films, socially relevant to the period, with great portrayals. I am sure, if they were alive and if they made same films now, in this era, they too would have faced the same flak - poverty-porn. How is it that we consider them legends today, when their films sold poverty in many film festivals? Why them? What about Sudhir Mishra's film 'Dharavi'? Why is it considered to be among the good art-house films? Why didnt we banish that film because it depicted slums? So, it is alright if an Indian film-maker shows poverty or slums? But it is not alright if a Hollywood filmmaker does it. It is alright if we and our people see us naked. But it is not for outsiders? (to think of it, i felt that the movie neither had poverty nor slums, they just appeared in the film, in few shots. Probably a Swades or Mother India had much more duration of poverty than SDM, but as i said, our nakedness should be the muse to entertain only us, but not foreigners). Firstly, it is not an export, since neither the director nor the producer was Indian. secondly, if the same people criticizing the film can export something better (which i welcome), why don't they do it? In the last 1 decade, what have we exported predominantly in films, other than Weddings, Raj/Rahul/Sameer and Bhangra?

And finally, nobody talks about eradicating poverty, but only about it being shown, if at all it really was. And does the origin of film-maker really matter? Infact, i believe that if this film was called as Q&A, instead of the now infamous - slumdog, people would have perceived it differently. It is all in the mind and perception.

Ultimately, it was just a film. A film, whose success was an accident. Neither the film-maker, not the crew aimed at any award and it is evident from the style of film-making itself. The movie looked more like a adventurous daily soap rather than an emotional story (emotional enough to grip the awards committee). ARR never made the music for a certain golden globe or an oscar. If he aimed at them, the score would have been different. He made some music on his Apple computer, for 15 days and used it in the film. Strange that it worked. Instead of being happy that it worked, we have a section of people who complain about the unworthiness of the score. Well, if India wins a match because of a Tendulkar's mediocre innings, do we celebrate the moment of victory? or do we lament about Tendulkar not playing up to his level or not playing the Bradman shots? The most brilliant comment came from an obscure composer called 'Aadesh Shrivastava', who said that the film upset him very much and that he would never compose music for such films, even if Steven Spielberg approaches him. Bravo! I liked his Hope (thats what the film was all about, in case he missed the point, evidently). Just that it blends into insanity.

And I forgot, in India, there must be a religious angle to just everything. I read recently that ARR's "I choose Love over Hate and I am here" statement at the Oscars, has far reaching inner meanings than the humble/noble thought it carries. A certain screwed up character, a journalist infact, wrote in his webpage/blog that ARR's statement actually points to his choice of Islam over Hinduism and the writer blasted ARR for equating Hinduism to Hate. After reading it, I really wondered - ' The no. of Morons in India, is rising, significantly for sure'.

Offlate, my social observations putforth many a question before me. Why is it that these days people have low thresholds of tolerance or level-headed thinking? people find faults so easily, with little issues or frivolous things? How come people are getting offended so easily? A SDM irks filmmakers or common people. a movie title irks barbers. showing a villain character's caste irks that caste people. showing someone smoke on screen irks a certain minister. a valentine's day or pubbing irks a political group. and the less I talk about religious intolerance, the better. And regional? sectoral? linguistic? But i am trying to understand the root cause of this low-theshold for social anger, which seems to be unleashing very quickly from people, be it any issue. Is it frustration? About what? It was not this way, even 5-6 years ago. Ofcourse, people have become very busy now with hardly any time left for themselves. In the little time available, they put their time, energy, emotions and reactions at the mercy of media, which is busy making its own gains, like everyone. By looming so many negative thoughts, at the slightest of the trigger, people are increasingly proving that 'level-headed thinking' and 'rationality' are being replaced by their mad chase for their own needs, wants and securities, in any form they desire. In this run, towards success and identity, unfortunately, in the aspects such as human understanding and tolerance, the quality of mindsets is sinking into a shitpot, much like a scene from the film. People might become Millionaires for sure, atleast in the quality and pursuit of their dreams, but at the cost of becoming slumdogs too, in their mind - brash, short-tempered and frustrated, much like all those who found faults with just a normal film.

Summer of 99

2009-03-08T19:42:00.001+05:30

Escaping the melting heat and dust,
we walked into a shade, talking.
That summer afternoon, when we met up,
and we spent time together,
aimlessly and endlessly,
talking about you and talking about me.
You wrote a verse about the shade of that tree,
which, you said, was like singing a lullaby,
I asked you to sing it out.
It was quite a moment.
your verse - like a lullaby,
and me sitting beside you, holding your hand.
You hummed a nectarly tune and i felt i should never let you go.
I looked at the dust around the shade of the tree,
dust raising up in that smouldering heat,
slowly i saw your image filling in it,
and , the dust at once turning into Gold.
Was it your song? or my own foolishness?
though knowing that it was an illusion,
i moved towards the dust,
leaving the Gold behind...

Guide'd

2009-02-09T14:39:00.001+05:30

Like everyone, i too have a forest,
of my own, in my mind, where i take a walk,
every day and every night,
In my forest, there is a path.
Be it morning, afternoon or night,
Someone looks at me closely,
Through the woods.
Someone always watches me,
With a stare that is piercing,
piercing into the fabric of my soul.
A voice says, ”You haven’t changed much,
"Are you sure you want to keep going this way?”,
With an apologetic smile.
I look up to face those watchful eyes.
And I see high above me,
Treetops, clouds, azure skies..
Changing colours all along,
The Winter, Summer and Autumn..
I recall my life from the beginning,
And I pause my heart to search...
answers to those questions which never found voice,
or those which found voices...muted,
those which had come and stayed but not gone
What have I accomplished? Nothing really.
What have I created? Nothing much.
Always I am struggling on, As best as I can.
Is my best Enough, when all is said and done?
I am always hoping that there is a lot of time,
Will I not be sorry when I find that there is none?
Won’t it be too late for me to realize,
That I had more things still, to fight with?

Someone is still watching me sternly, with gentle eyes,
From those unassailable quiet heights...
in my forest, across all those turns in that path,
Journeying along which, I say, to myself,
“I will try once again,
I will get over everything, I swear,
All those petty hurts, disappointments, lies and hate..”
And I hear the voice in answer,
“I believe you. Try and don’t succumb.
A stainless light will always lead you to your vision”.
All my life, along that path I go,
To accomplish, to create-following a light,
That bids me - 'Come'.

Violent Dreams

2009-01-30T01:22:00.001+05:30

In the midnight I suddenly realized that it all turned red,
those white flower patterns are gone and my pillow is soaked in blood
I warned you, but you didn't listen to me,
and you went on talking to me for long in the night,
about religion and how man has used it so far.
I told you that some realities turn into dreams?
but why is this the other way round?
Lets not talk about this next time.
Let me Sleep in peace.

EA Eruptions

2009-01-29T14:01:00.001+05:30

Is it really possible to look at/observe/evaluate yourself objectivistically, from a neutral perspective, without being yourself?

Lets Go...

2008-12-31T09:58:00.001+05:30

From one pain, you’ve rescued me.
Did everything possible to cheer me up.
Helped me in my tears,
To move beyond my fears.
One night has ended.
And journey towards another has started.
Another night. Another pain.,
Which divides us,
With the units of time and distance.
Some emotions are indeed a journey,
On the rough waves of a tumultuous sea,
Prying into distant horizons, unexplored,
Of a tomorrow, unknown.

Lets cross this night and journey,
To explore that new dawn,
Hidden in a multitude of avenues,
Calling us in resonant voices.
A chapter lies behind us, let it lie.
Another chapter calls us, lets go…

Chennai Concerts 2008/09

2008-12-17T15:03:00.001+05:30

Everyday I have a look at this link: Chennai Concerts 2008/09

And I feel I am a C-O-C-K.

Because I cannot go.

Damn Life!

EA Eruptions

2008-12-15T19:02:00.001+05:30

Money is just a myth, an important myth though... used to measure the dimensions of reality.

Bridging...

2008-12-11T16:07:00.001+05:30

I asked you
and you said
'you're too vague'
of course I am...
I am afraid
your answer
would be finite
leaving no room
for hope
for interpretation
for dreaming
for yearning
for the search
for myself
in you

An eternity lives
between a yes
and a no.

Written by Shekhar Kapur

Questions-I

2008-12-08T14:13:00.001+05:30

What exactly is our aim in life?

What is the point we are trying to make?

Whatever we are doing, Is it of any consequence? To whom?

To be able to live, with freedom, choices and comfort seems to be sheer luck. If it is so, do we ought to spend it, aimlessly...always trying keep different things intact..preventing them from crumbling down..be it financial security or emotional bonding or job or future etc?

Are we all supposed to spend our lives, just like managers, balancing many things?

Will we ever be able to enrich ourselves with finer elements of life? things which we deem are finer and which are important to our quality of living?

Will we ever give something, as payback, for all the volume of life, the freedom and choices we have got? Will we ever see the need to give something? Give what? To Whom? to what? Will our conscience shake us to reflect upon that? And will it push us to really reciprocate?

Do we really have something called conscience? Or is it just a myth?

Will we ever live, without regret? Will we ever give meaning to our own existence? If so, can it be devoid of compromise?

Can we ever be, without any restlessness?

Slain Major's Dad echoed my Thoughts

2008-12-01T11:57:00.004+05:30

This piece of news vindicated my thoughts, expressed in my previous post.

"The father of Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, who died fighting terrorists in the Bombay, expressed immense anger towards politicians. He literally shooed away the Kerala Chief Minister, who delayed in offering condolences. The dead commando's father did not tolerate CM's presence and shouted at him to leave at once. He remained firm that no politician should ever enter his house and refused to meet the leaders from his state. He even threatened to commit suicide if any politician entered his house."

The point still remains - "Do our politicians get messages such as these?". The answer is, 'Sometimes, They do". But then, the height of insensitivity they display in their response is something which no politician in this World or for that matter, no sane and level-headed human being can match. Kerala Chief Minister remarked "If it had not been (Major) Sandeep's house, not even a dog would have glanced that way". Those words came, not from a road side riffraff, but from the 2nd citizen of a State - The Chief Minister, to the family of a soldier who died fighting the terrorists. This truly reflects our leaders and their sensibilities. This truly reflects the political class of India, atleast the one at the state-level. I have not come across more unethical, immoral, unscrupulous and shameless political class, than in India. Infact i regret that Major Sandeep's father did not spit on this f***er's face, when the latter visited to pay his psuedo-homage.

My only answer to this bastard would be - "Truly said Sir. No Dog would have ever glanced. But one Dog holding the post of Chief Minister of Kerala did try to glance their way and got the best reception ever."

Clowns at play again!

2008-11-30T15:21:00.001+05:30

On the very first day of the Terrorist attacks in Bombay, out of the shock, horror and helplessness that I am reminded of, there was only one element of solace... that our politicians maintained poise and did not indulge in the usual blame-game at each other. I thought all the Opposition parties would start blaming the Govt, instead of doing something concrete such as helping people at the hospitals or giving the moral support to India, a unified India, by using their oratory skills. But they surprised me, completely, by not speaking a word against the Government. The attitude of BJP, in particular, impressed me when they refused to use this gruesome incident as a tool to gain political advantage. "Ah! Sensibility Finally", I thought. I think the Govt. has to be blamed, but not at that hour and many parties displayed that sense of poise, much to my pleasant (the only pleasant thing on that day) surprise.

But then, within 24 hours, it is work as usual. I forgot, that they are politicians. How can they ever be stable? How can they ever stand by something? BJP chieftain Mr.Advani, as usual, boasted about how he could answer terrorists better in his heydays, ie., in his position as Home Minister during BJP rule. I saw him say "When they attacked in various places, the way we answered them was strong and unprecedented. we didn't spare them". My Dear Advaniji, What is the point you are trying to make? You talk about bloody answering them. But Could you avoid those attacks from happening in the first place? Attacks happened right. So how does that differentiate your Govt. from this current Govt.? So, what are you beating your chest for, in this hour that too? And answering them is not your job anyways. It is not the job of this Govt. too. it is the army, the NSG, Naval commandos, the police... So, I don't see any difference, between that Govt. and this Govt.

A newspaper in Bombay, today, had this message to the people - "Witness a terrorism free India, by voting for BJP" (translated from Hindi). The operation or rather the war with the terrorists at Taj Hotel did not finish yet. The bodies of victims have not been identified yet. The blood in the incident locations have not been cleaned yet. Do we need that message now? BJP is already up, playing to the gallery - Votes Votes and Votes. It cannot get more shameless than this. It is infact vulgar. What are the so called 'respected senior leaders' of BJP doing? I myself have had lot of respect, for some of the BJP leaders, despite differing with some of their ideologies and acts. But then, off-late, not just today, I completely lost all that. Even the so called 'statesmen' have become mere cheap politicians, who are actually running after power and not public welfare. What else can explain their statement in the newspaper at an hour when the entire World is uncertain about what could happen further and when everyone is praying for the safety of people there? Why should anyone vote for BJP? Because they Shamelessly asked, or should I say Begged, for votes in times of national despair. And can any politician, be it BJP or Congress or Janata etc, look and work beyond votes and seats of power?

Our respectable Prime Minister - addresses the nation, saying that his Govt. will take the sternest of the action in future. Really? Who are you kidding sir? You, with all those 50 doctorates you have got, might be having the noblest of the intentions. But can you really act tough, not giving in so-called suggestions of the leader of your Party. And what about your team? your ministers? your administration band? those chamchas? the entire machinery under you and under your team? Are they effective enough? Do you think atleast one sensible citizen of this country will believe you if you tell them that your men are effective enough? Don't they all together make a fantastic bunch of clowns, playing in/with/out the circus of Indian Democracy?

If only all our Police, Commandos and others dropped their hands and pushed all our Indian politicians to the war front!!! Atleast that would have been some rightful cleansing. This ethnic cleansing and all that crap which certain segments in each of our current religions (Islam, Hindus, Christianity..just everyone) are embarking on off-late, for no rational reason, will bring no good to humanity anyways. What we need, in India, is political cleansing. What would our Politicians do, if all their security personnels refuse to protect them for 5 minutes? Just 5 minutes? Given the magnitude of public anger in India, towards politicians, Can atleast one politician, without any security, dare to talk to a crowd? Can they walk into a crowd today? And a crowd which does not carry any weapon that is. A crowd in which there is not even a single terrorist or a naxalite or a militant. Can they walk into the real normal people of India? Can they dare? What will ensue is Mob violence. And I wish it ensues. I wish people of India, me included, drag these bastards out and flog them, lynch them and give them what they really deserve. and it is not just one political party. It is not about a Congress or BJP or CPI or whatever. Every insincere politician who has been doing nothing but amassing assets and properties must be dealt in the same way, even if it is undemocratic. Where is democracy anyways! And I don't think it will be undemocratic too. if atleast 51% of Indians feel the way I do, then... is it not democracy?

Watching TV since last 3 days, and following every bit of the massacre that happened in Bombay, watching those hundreds of innocent people dead, watching those brave soldiers give their lives just to end the trauma, watching those buffoons (politicians) paying their respects to far better souls (had something like that happened in my house, I would have not let a single politician bastard step into my house) than them... and anticipating the upcoming mud-slinging thats going to happen between various political parties, all I am left with is boiling blood and violent thoughts, against those terrorists who have been coming from outside... and these terrorists who have been inside, taking us all for granted - Our bloody F***ing useless politicians.

I commend, praise and appreciate the stance taken by the wife of ATS Chief Hemant Karkare, who died in this battle (There must be a good number of politicians/leaders, famous ones that too, who already criticized Karkare for his findings on Malegaon blasts and terrorism by Hindu outfits and who might now be rejoicing his death, for he came very close to wrapping up that investigation. Now they all go scot free, after paying a pseudo-homage to him) She refused to take any compensation from Narendra Modi, who announced some compensation. Bravo! Fantastic! Kudos! for Keeping the spirit and honour of her husband alive!

Who are the Real Players?

2008-11-29T17:06:00.001+05:30

A team of 11 people, play with a ball and a bat, to beat a score, just to win a useless cup, for this nation. And they are heaped with expensive Cars, pots of gold and lavish houses.

Few Hundreds of people, gamble in the game of death, play with their lives, to restore safety, security, lives and honour of this nation, settling scores and more importantly by becoming Gods to many people. All they will get now, are bloody peanuts!!!

Who are the real outstanding players? Who should be rewarded appropriately?

What is so great about cricket? What is so great about it and its players, that we have a separate page allotted to it Everyday in the newspapers and we have a separate TV channel for the game? what is so great that there is so much hype, ordeal, talk, money and paraphernalia about every damn thing associated with it?

What is so casual about human life? What is so ordinary about it, that despite fighting with their lives to save many other lives, the army officers dont get that hype, time, space, attention, rewards and respect?

A Wednesday

2008-11-27T22:42:00.003+05:30

Is it just a coincidence, that a recent Hindi film, which tried to make a statement against the existing system tackling Terrorism, is named "A Wednesday". It was indeed an ill-fated Wednesday, when few Bastards ignited a mayhem in Bombay. And the mayhem continues. It is indeed shocking that some 20 swines casually entered the country, right through a monument, the name of which is probably taken far too seriously - 'Gateway of India'. They walk in. They kill people on the streets indiscriminately. They kill some of the best cadre cops. They inflict immense trauma to families. They take hostage. They spray bullets on civilians, journalists. They blow up cars. They hold ransom, not just the people, their lives, their future, their families, but my entire country. 25 fucking bastards, go on a massacre which hurts not just me, but everyone. I care not if it is of any consequence, but I strongly wish and pray that they should be apprehended first and then have their limbs, organs and skin peeled and severed layer by layer, before drilling one fat bullet, right into their mouth. This wish of mine, will not cease to play in my mind, until each of them is massacred, beyond recognition. They deserve nothing but death and a death, that eats them, inch by inch, in the most barbaric of the ways. And my blood shall continue to boil, till they are butchered.

Childlike Fantasy

2008-11-15T18:43:00.003+05:30

Sometimes a childlike fantasy crosses my mind,
How would it be like... to send to you,
By merely hurling into thin air and blue,
All those things and thoughts I wanted to...

From early dawn,with eager enthusiasm,
I hurl many things, unto you, miles away,
Holding each and uttering your name,
And just flinging them away, all the day...

Those stacks of verses, some done and some unfinished,
Those trivial elements of beauty I often come across,
Few photographs and images which haven’t yet vanished,
From our ever-thirsting lives, stealing their gloss...

I send even pin-ups from my room and few words empty,
Each drifting slowly towards you, all the while,
Riding and abiding by these new rules of gravity,
And in the end, making you smile...

When the day is done to dusk, with no sound,
I hurl some songs to electrify the air around.

But when loneliness pins up in bright,
On the silent dark veil of the night,
Ploughing the thoughts I hide,
making my path narrow and wide,
Tell me, what shall I fling, to reach your own self?
Perhaps, those thoughts, a blank paper and myself.
That is when, in you, it is my own self I often find,
Sometimes this childlike fantasy crosses my mind...

India's New Partitions

2008-10-22T22:56:00.003+05:30

Raj at play one more time, with the most malleable and wax-y instrument in our country - Indian Law. Do we have any country in which a political leader not only incites violence frequently, using provocative speeches, but also takes the credit for the vandalism. Raj Thackeray has a problem with everything that is non-Maharashtra. So, he and his people beat all the Non-Maharashtrians there, be it taxi-drivers or shop-keepers or vegetable-sellers. Damn the humanity and brotherhood, a self-respecting Maharashtrian should attack all the non-Maharashtrians and do whatever it takes, be it beating or flogging or killing, to drive them away from the state. And mind you, even film-stars should not be spared.

Divisive politics is something that is as old as Indian democracy (for records sake, lets assume that there is democracy) itself. Perhaps we are familiar with few sides of divisive politics, such as religion based or caste-based politics. For religion based politics, we have BJP, VHP, Bajrang Dal who lead the pack, citing a reason - Hindutva. Their vision of paradise in India is not when we have adequate food with no poverty, flourishing economy and peace, but when every single Muslim/Christian etc are driven away from this country. Where to? They have no idea either. I just heard in the news that the VHP WANTS EVERY HINDU TO PERPETUATE HIS RELIGION BY BEGETTING 5 CHILDREN. Reason: The Muslim population is growing a lot and in 90 years, it would overtake Hindu population. So, the 20-30yr olds in VHP cherish the golden dream to seeing more Hindus after 90s, when they are 120yrs old. The Muslims and Christians (not all, but the fanatic sections) have a different view of paradise. They want every Indian to practice Islam/Christianity as God is only Allah/Christ and no one else. It is perfectly justified even if they realize their dream at the cost of few millions of human lives.

In Caste-based politics, i don't think i can take any specific examples as such. Because Indian political system has bred leaders..sorry, ministers and politicians solely by using caste. Apart from Money, Caste is the only backbone of Indian political system. Country's development can wait, after-all, it has been only 61years since we got independence.

A new dimension of disintegration of this country is manifested in the region related divisive politics. AP's telangana issue is an example. Raj Thackeray's issue is slightly different. He is a regional fanatic and He, with his army, don't mind playing with law. Or I should better put it as: Their mind is all about playing with Indian law openly. Where else can you see a politician who OPENLY challenges and threatens the Government, in public meetings and newspapers that Government and People will face dire consequences if they are arrested or stopped in their mission. And that, even after the High Court warns him harshly.

For the last 2 days, several parts of Bombay is burning. The riots and vandalism is against the arrest of Raj Thackeray. He was arrested after his MNS (Maharshtra NavaNirmaan Seva) army attacked/beat Non-Maharashtrians who arrived in Maharashtra to write some Railway recruitment exams. MNS rioters attacked them at the examination centres. The government immediately called for his arrest and Raj Thackeray threatened to set Bombay on fire, if he was arrested. Both happened. But amidst all this ruckus, it is the common man who seems to have suffered the most. A Non-Maharashtrian in Bombay today, shivers to step out of the house probably. He shivers even more to stay in the house, for he doesn't know who might suddenly lock the house and set it on fire. After-all it is indeed the NavaNirmaan of Maharashtra.

After sufficient damage is done (i sometimes wonder if all this is planned, i mean the 'Damage value', be it in money or count of human lives, is probably calculated and they halt the rioting once a certain 'value' is reached, something like a threshold. Indeed, we have lot of threshold), the rioting stops. The activists and supporters are given a break and are asked to attend to specific duties such as transferring bags of money from one house to another. Once that is done, the politician gets the bail and he is let out. It happens the same way with every politician, no matter what crime or in his words - 'cleansing' he commits and it happened the same to Raj Thackeray too. After he threatened the Government and showed a trailer to them, soon after his arrest, the court granted him bail, much to the joy and applause of his supporters, who will now get ready for the next command, next episode and next war. The pages are turned to fresh ones, in the lives of everyone. Politicians, Government, Law, Judiciary, Media and People, for new entertainment to be scripted.

All this game is just for the entertainment of the people in India. Like films. Political Leaders are the script-writers, film-makers and producers. their chamchas and activists are the actors. Innocent people are the villains. Journalists are the cameramen, who don't want to miss a single shot. And pages on which all these are scripted are Democracy, Law, Judiciary etc. All these are collectively entertaining us all, the people of India, by playing with the actors and villains, tearing and raping the pages. We watch the films, get moved by them, have opinions, write blogs and forget. It happens so often now, that it does not matter anymore, or we don't bother anymore, atleast with the same degree of seriousness as we did few years ago. That was new and had shock-value. Now, we Indians are shock-absorbers, of just anything.

Indians don't like anything cohesive. We claim to have fought 'divide and rule' policy and we attach a social stigma to it. But the harsh reality is that we LIKE the divide and rule concept. Indians like to be divided, by religion, then by caste, then by sub-caste, then by sect, then by sub-sect and the moment our brains fail to conceive further divisions beyond these, we pull out another discriminative ideology - Regional Self-Respect and pump up the divisive politics again. So we have a MNS. Then we will soon have a BNS (Bengal) or PNS (Punjab) or even a TNS (Telangaana) by one more power-hungry local politician. On religious politics front, taking the legacy from VHP and Bajrang Dal, India might soon have a HNS (Hindutva NavaNirmaan Seva) or INS (Islam) or CNS (Christian) forming more fire-spewing communities, which go on to contest elections and participate in vandalism simultaneously. But India will never have a BNS (Bharateeya NavaNirmaan Sena).

Now it is Maharashtra and Telangaana, later, India will disintegrate further into more localized groups characterized by region or language or religion or caste of sect or occupation...the list is endless. One partition is already a red blotch in our history. These partitions will script more. The only difference is that we were sensitive to 1947 partition and it might not be the same in future partitions that are to come. These new partitions would be viewed merely as disintegrations. But then, disintegration outside is just a manifestation of the disintegration inside... of an Indian mind, heart and soul.

2008-10-10T23:41:00.001+05:30

The world today seems like a market-place, where you can sell anything
people, dreams, passions, thoughts, truth, justice ...everything could be sold

This mad market-place, couldn't sell me till now!

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When I first tasted that wine you brought along one evening, do you remember,
I told you it was bitter initially but I loved it after few sips...and asked for more.

even today, when I reflect upon our relationship, I am reminded of that wine...

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Why does Man often spend his time counting his wounds and sorrows..
deeming his life to be the vast sky and his sorrows..akin to the dark clouds in it

Indeed, after childhood, man stops counting stars, which shine in the same sky?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Do people love themselves enough that they wait, seek and search for the love of another person?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night I spoke to the moon... till wee hours... because you were not here...
You did the same too, for I know that this moon is the messenger between us...

This night, the moon thanked us both, for breathing life into it, with our words...

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Corpses, Corpses Corpses...there are corpses everywhere in this country
Neither a bomb nor a gun, not even a sword, was found on this blood-path

Someone said religion here is a path to see god! they all did..

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The night kissed the fading day, and whispered in its ear,
"I shall carry you,for a while, in the womb of my darkness"

The dew drops of the dawn are perhaps its tears of longing, for its mother..

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The longings of the sea turn into music when it splashes on the shore
the longings of my thoughts turn into words when I write a verse.

Alas! My verses don't have music... Alas! The sea doesn't have my words...

2008-09-27T11:55:00.002+05:30

I dont know what possessed ilaiyaraaja, when he composed "Vaan Megham" from 'Punnaghai Mannan'. I dont know what he possesses, that he is what he is.

Meeting Notes...

2008-09-02T19:32:00.001+05:30

Dipping my pen of thoughts,

in the dark ink of the night...

I hoped to write few tales of life...

on the bright white pages of the day.

But the orange embers of the dusk burnt all my stories.

what remain are few ashes, of empty words,

which shall lose their meaning,

once they helplessly drown in the rain tonight.

----------------------------------------------------------

Lets get rid of this habit we have every morning,

the habit of reading news paper... with morning coffee.

Coffee and Blood don't go well together...

----------------------------------------------------------

Every night when I wait to see it,

all it does is just peeping from the veil of darkness.

Am I the mirror between my soul and the moon?

---------------------------------------------------------

Cheapest Justice ever

2008-08-21T12:24:00.001+05:30

I have always thought and believed that we can get away with anything in India, by paying hardly anything. Till date, I don't our system has underwent any change which can disprove my notion.

This news article confirmed the same.

Sometime around last year, a senior advocate R K Anand was caught on camera, negotiating a bribe, to let a wealthy criminal get away from the apparently long hands of India law. Quite surprisingly, our rusted judicial machinery did administer this and took a not-so-long one year to give its verdict. The bright-side of this judgement is that, quite unusually, the court held that R K Anand was guilty of obstructing the administration of justice using unfair practices. The court stripped him of his designation of Senior Advocate, which indeed raised by eye-brows. Additionally, the court's judgement also disallows him to appear in High Court and its subordinate courts, for 4 months.

But the icing on it and the darker side of this judgement is the imposition of fine. The court, probably was oblivious of current price index and was probably referring its 1950 benchmarks, that it imposed a 'hefty' fine of Rs.2000 on him. I wonder if he could afford it!

Did the court atleast knew that Mr. Anand himself charges in lakhs, per hour, to his clients. Rs.2000 is perhaps the pocket money given by Mr.Anand to his driver's son.

One of the readers rightly commented on that webpage: "Only in India we fine a person a mere Rs. 2000 for raping the law of the land." But then, that is Indian Law.

My point is, why was he not convicted? Does being a lawyer or senior advocate automatically exempts him from convictions, no matter whatever is the magnitude of the crime he commits?

Well , most people will feel content that Mr Anand has now been disgraced. But I am not. But I am sure this would not make any difference to R K Anand. Afterall, he could get away with not few hundreds, but Rs.2000.

Anna's Diary

2008-08-13T13:50:00.002+05:30

written by Anna, a Georgian Actress in Shekhar's Blog

It’s 4 AM at night and a frightening nightmare wakes me up. I am wearing outdoor clothes, that is not very comfortable in bed. But at that moment, I can’t feel it, since I am too scared...too scared that a huge noise might pierce my eardrums and brightness invade my whole vision. I stand up and look outside from the window. I look at the dark, cloudless sky and I look at the street lamps. I look at the deserted, empty pavement and then back at the sky. Then I turn around and go to bed. I hug my pillow tight and try to sleep as much as I can. But I can’t stop thinking about it...all those images of horrible scenes from the TV are flashing into my mind. Then I hear noise of a jet, flying above somewhere and I feel as my heart starts to beat faster and louder. Fortunately, that night goes well. Nothing happens in Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia.

The next day, I wake up and I am happy to see the sunny day. I am happy to be alive. I turn on the TV to see the news, hoping that the situation is getting better. But instead of that, it’s worsening. I see and hear how more and more villages and towns have been bombed and how more and more people have been killed. I see injured innocent people, crying, looking for their family members in ruins or on the list of dead people. I see young reservists, dead. I see blood and violence, grief and tragedy. My sister enters the room, crying. My niece is sleeping, so that’s why my sister has dared to cry. She won’t cry in front of her daughter. She does not want to scare her. I ask her what happened. And she tells me that a 19-year old cousin of her best friend has died due to the bomb explosion. I did not know him, but it still hurts me. It gives me a terrible pain inside, here, somewhere in the chest. It gives me a lump in a throat. The boy will never see his family and friends again. And his family and friends will never see him again. Because of what? What is the reason? Nothing! A complete absurd. I wonder how many young boys will never see their family again. Hundreds...thousands...

The time flows so imperceptibly fast. I have been watching the news since early morning. Now it’s midday. And suddenly I hear screams and cries from the neighbor’s house. The police is taking their son to the army. And his mother is crying and desperately begging them to let him stay. The father is not going to let his son die for a nonsense and he is shouting at them. But using force the police brings the youngster out of the house and puts him in the car with the rest of the boys. I am not a writer and I can’t describe what happened. I can’t express those emotions and feelings. I don’t know the exact words. The scene was ... it was just... horrible... unspeakable...

News: The United Nations proclaims to Russia to stop the violence, stop the fire, stop bombing the territories of Georgia outside the conflicted area, South Ossetia. But Russia turns a deaf ear to them. They keep on bombing more and more places...

Vladimir Jirinovsky says: “Bomb the whole Georgia day and night!”...

US Vice President Dick Cheney says that "Russian aggression must not go unanswered, and that its continuation would have serious consequences for its relations with the United States."...

Russia is “way out of line!”...

The USA and the EU needs to save Georgia from annihilation...

Russia is waging ‘terror’ against Georgia...

Russia wants the president of Georgia to resign, otherwise they won’t cease fire...

Russia wants to invade Georgia in 21st century...

What’s going to happen? Will it finally end? Will it stop soon?

I am packing rucksacks together with my sister and mother. It is expected that Tbilisi may also be bombed. So we should be ready for it. If it really is bombed, where should we run? Everything’s so crazy.

It’s night again. This time I am too exhausted to be dreaming nightmares. But I still wake up all of a sudden. I hear an awful, deafening noise of an enormous explosion. We all jump from our beds and leap to the windows. There’s another noise of a second explosion. My sister runs into the room all white as a sheet, asking what shall we do. We decide to go somewhere with her car. Outside there are so many people. Almost everybody has left their house. They are all so scared in a state of total panic. After some hours of drive into the city, we return home, since we don’t hear any more explosions. The things that’s scarier is that we are on the top floor, that means that if our house gets bombed, there’s no chance to survive. Heh... This fact always gives me a nervous, weird laughter.

The next day, we find out about it. Thanks god, nobody was harmed. Russian jets have bombed military base and radar installation. Suddenly I hear a telephone ring, that startles me. These days I feel so edgy, that everything startles me. I pick up and it’s my father, calling from the USA. He has heard about the Tbilisi bombing and wants to know how we are. From his shaky tone I notice that he is very nervous. He sounds so frightened. I have never heard my father in such state... Life is so strange.

And now I am sitting in front of a PC monitor and typing a boring, illogical article. I don’t know what I am trying to say...what I want to say... I just want to express my emotions somehow. I keep them bottled and it makes me feel like a heavy load.

I hope everything will get back to normal soon enough; soon before more thousands of people die; soon before Georgia completely collapses.

Restless...Afterall

2008-07-23T10:23:00.001+05:30

Restless I am... for what,

I dont know,

and that makes me even more restless.

a 1000 questions bombarding my mind,

pieces of my thoughts, shattered...

what do i do picking these, all scattered...

will i ever find answers? will i ever trust,

that the answers i find, are answers afterall.

what did i do? what i am doing?

what i ought to do? and for whom?

will i ever have a chance to get back,

if i realize that whatever i did,

was meaningless afterall.

will these lengthy preludes of breath,

go useless, without any music afterall?

Affair

2008-06-27T11:35:00.010+05:30

Last night you went away, after we made love...
When I was still asleep, holding you...
You pulled away your white skirt from my lips,
Lips which left their imprints on the edge of your skirt...
After that, I searched for you...everywhere...
Frantically, i looked for you in all our favourite places
And found no traces...of your visit there.
Then, all the places i have ever been to, in this city,
all the streets and by-lanes...and far off groves
I didn't spare the sky either...

I asked some of your friends,
Who wore starry smiles on their faces,
but didn’t tell me where you were...
Late in the evening, when i got tired looking for you,
i headed back home...with disappointment and hope...
A solemn silence descended into my street...radiant.
And I met one fair beautiful lady with few blotches on her cheek...
She claimed that she was your neighbour,
And told me that you would return to my room in the night...

It is night now and I am waiting for you,
A breeze just entered my room, carrying your fragrance,
earthly...yet ethereal, stimulating...yet intoxicating...
I just heard your foot-falls..and their echoes...
The music of your pattering feet...delicate...
With all my eagerness, I came out to greet you...
At last it is raining...
At last it is raining...and I feel you are hugging me...
I am with you When I am in rain...
Come in...Lets make love again...

My Dear Silence!

2008-06-07T21:03:00.005+05:30

When my thoughts falter my speech,
it is only you i approach, i seek...
Together we walk in my world,
in search of those images and thoughts...
unchained...but broken, ingrained...but spoken,
draped in the robes you gave them...

Dear friend, i see you as an image, now and then,
understood, and felt, yet not completely...
like those vibrant tunes of heart, muffled...
like those after-glows of evening lamps, just put off...
I see many great things, in you,
all fashioned themselves in your profoundity,
wearing your robes and singing your songs...

With Peace as your breath,
and beauty as your soul,
you continue to stir inside me,
a soulful of solitude which transfixes me,
and then liberates through a thought i nurture,
by weaving few words for it, to make it a verse...
unchained...but broken, ingrained...but spoken...

i must thank you for being there...
in my world, in me and somewhere in my verses,
for they have in them, your pulse...
cover them with your robes...my dear silence...

Wireless World & We (WWW): Part-1

2008-05-05T00:24:00.004+05:30

A good number of people i know, complain about my negligent nature...in handling my mobile phone. No, i dont dare to drop it 'n' number of times, for it is not a Nokia...but my negligence lies in sticking around it..or vice-versa. The handset i own spent about 2 years with me, of which, it has been in silent mode for atleast 75% of the time. Though i do not argue about the utility of a mobile phone, i find it really annoying. whats annoying is not the calls but the fact that i have to constantly carry this little-weighty external device. the sense of botheration associated with it, is even more irritating than the botheration itself. I was probably 23 when i got my first mobile. and i have stopped using it in between, when i was 24-25. what a peaceful period it was. I still have this urge to discard my mobile phone and i am tempted to do so, if not for the sake of few reasons which bind it to me. Afterall, i have managed without it for 23 years in my life. Discounting the years when i really didnt need it, probably i survived well without a mobile a phone, for atleast 10years. Not bad!

i recently read a couple of articles in the magazine - 'The Economist', which spoke about the evolving changes in the patterns of human behaviour, be it in offices or in social circles, as a result of the growth in mobile communications. One article starts off on a rightly profound note - Sometimes the biggest changes in society are hardest to spot because they are hiding in plain sight. This article deliberates on the how the rapid changes in mobile communications are giving way to what is called as 'Digital Nomadism'. Faster cellular networks, Wi-Fi hotspots and new gadgets to connect to these networks are probably the new vehicles of changing social behaviour.

Nomads, in ancient times, were wanderers who carried all their belongings along with them. Digital Nomads, quite contrastingly, do not carry anything except for their most precious belonging - Wireless Gadget. Thats it, we have business professionals who need just a BlackBerry to avoid going to office. Another interesting thought discussed in the article was the comparison between cars and mobile phones. Cars, apart from other resources, did have a role in the division of cities - into residental areas and office areas, atleast in the west. Such a trend is now catching up in India too. It is now predicted that the wireless technologies would be mixing up these divisions again. With increasing road-traffic problems and related health hazards, future professionals might as well adopt 'work-from-home' concept, all with a hi-fi dedicated network. Should such a trend arrive, there would an interesting change in the dynamics. People would feel liberated from the coccoons of office cubicles. but what about the relationship between people in the office. the word 'colleague' typically means much more than 'we work in same place'. it also stretches to across to someone with whom we have a relationship whose bandwidth lies between 'official acquaintance' to 'friendship'. if people rarely get to visit office, thanks to improved wireless communications, would the word 'colleague' hold any signficance? How would our social perceptions change, if we get to interact through (or with) only emails, instant messages and avatars? if we get used to such a kind of working environment, how would we see the concept of 'Human Contact', in the context of 'Office culture'?

to be continued...

I'm An Ordinary Man

2008-02-14T19:40:00.004+05:30

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:

I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more
Than just an ordinary chance
To live exactly as he likes
And do precisely what he wants.

An average man am I,
Of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
Doing whatever he thinks is best for him.
Oh, Just an ordinary man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your serenity is through.
She'll redecorate your home
from the cellar to the dome,
Then go to the enthralling fun
Of overhauling you.

Let a woman in your life,
And you're up against a wall.
Make a plan and you will find
She has something else in mind,
And so rather than do either
You do something else that neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats or Milton;
She only wants to talk of love.
You go to see a play or ballet
And spend it searching for her glove.
Let a woman in your life,
And you invite eternal strife.

Let them buy their wedding bands
For those anxious little hands.
I'd be equally as willing
For a dentist to be drilling
Than to ever let a woman in my life!

I'm a very gentle man,
Even-tempered and good-natured
Whom you never hear complain;
Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein.

A patient man am I,
Down to my fingertips;
The sort who never could, ever would,
Let an insulting remark escape his lips.
A very gentle man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And patience hasn't got a chance.
She will beg you for advice.
Your reply will be concise,
And she'll listen very nicely,
Then go out and do precisely what she wants!

You were a man of grace and polish
Who never spoke above a hush.
Now all at once you're using language
That would make a sailor blush.
Let a woman in your life,
And you're plunging in a knife!

Let the others of my sex
Tie the knot around their necks.
I'd prefer a new edition Of the Spanish Inquisition
Than to ever let a woman in my life.

I'm a quiet living man,
Who prefers to spend the evenings
In the silence of his room;
Who likes an atmosphere as restful
As an undiscovered tomb.

A pensive man am I, Of philosophic joys;
Who likes to meditate, contemplate,
Free from humanity's mad inhuman noise.
A quiet living man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your sabbatical is through.
In a line that never ends
Come an army of her friends;
Come to jabber and to chatter,
And to tell her what the matter is with you!

She'll have a booming, boisterous family,
Who will descend on you en masse.
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother
With a voice that shatters glass.
Oh! Let a woman in your life!Let a woman in your life!

I shall never let a woman in my life.

It is just a coincidence, that today is Valentine's Day... :)

From the Original Soundtrack of 'My Fair Lady'; Performed by: Rex Harrison

Within You Without You

2008-01-16T14:42:00.001+05:30

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Track details

eSnips Social DNA

We were talking...about the space between us all..

and people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion

never glimpse the truth

then it's far too late when they pass away

We were talking...about the love we all could share

When we find it to try our best to hold it there with our love,

with our love we could save the world if they only knew

Try to realize it's all within yourself...no one else can make you change

And to see you're really only very small

and life flows on within you and without you

We were talking...about the love that's gone so cold..

and the people who gain the world and lose their soul

They don't know, they can't see...Are you one of them

When you've seen beyond yourself...

then you may find peace of mind is waiting there,

And the time will come when you see we're all one...

and life flows on within you and without you

Kya Bura hain..Kya Bhalaa..

2007-12-27T17:03:00.000+05:30

Kya Bura hain...Kya Bhalaa
Hosake tho Jalaa..Dil jalaa..

Muskuraana Sehthe jaana..Chaahne ki Rasm Hain..
Na Lahoo na Koi Aansoo..Ishq aisa Zakhm hain..
Muskuraake zakhm khaale...Na shikhaayat koi.. Na Gilaa..
Kya bura hain...Kya Bhalaa..Hosake tho Jalaa..Dil jalaa..

Saara Din Ghazalen pironaa...Raat bhar Aawaargi..
Hatgaya daaman tho kya hain...Saada dil hain, Saadgii...
Na Dilaasaa chaaha dilne..naa Wafaadaari ka..Silsilaa
Kya Bura hain...Kya Bhalaa..Hosake tho Jalaa..Dil jalaa..
Kya Bura hain..Kya Bhalaa...

Film: Libaas; Lyrics: Gulzar; Music: R.D.Burman

From The Dark Room

2007-12-12T12:14:00.000+05:30

I am a photographer, printing..
Some pictures I took, long ago.
It is night, just the new moon glinting..
On the smoking mountain far away...

Fireflies, here and there, are flying,
The season of winter is done..
I am busy printing and drying,
and the faces emerge one by one...

They seem to rise up from the ocean..
So strangely they come into view,
like moons from the void, in the motion,
and suddenly there is you...

Your face sprighty like a fountain..
looks up from the little bath..
A wind blowing down the mountain
strews leaves on the garden path...

The ruby light falls on the photo,
your face, smiling, tilts up and gleams.
It wants to break free from the water,
It wants to come back in dreams...

O my dear! rise up from the water,
and surface the wave with your eyes.
My breath will, I promise, warm you,
my memory will bring you, into lively skies...

But you have already hardened,
the ripple of water is still,
you must have forgotten about me -
your look is so stony and chill...

Life is hard and demanding..
and you can't live it over again,
if there is no understanding
each other to the end...

This film holds many others,
friends still hidden from sight,
urging me on and on,
to print the photographs in tone..
and I am working here all alone...

.... April 21, 2002

Dis-opinionated

2007-11-28T17:15:00.000+05:30

The only way to escape unhurt in a meeting of highly opinionated individuals is not to have a opinion at all.

An old poem from a younger Aakarsh: Flowers

2007-11-19T00:18:00.000+05:30

Flowers... their fragrances felt in life
and even on a lifeless body as a wreath...
life perhaps is just a journey
of a tender fragrance...called Breath

29.4.2002

Elementary My Dear Self!!

2007-10-31T19:49:00.000+05:30

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, through Sherlock Holmes, said - "To the man who loves art for its own sake, it is frequently in its least important and lowliest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived".

I say - "To the man who loves not only art, but also beauty for its own sake, it is frequently in its sublimally enlightening, captivating and greatest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived and savoured".

Elementary My Dear Self!

Do kadam Aur Sahi...

2007-10-19T14:41:00.000+05:30

Zindagi haath mila…
saath chal, saath mein aa...
Umr bhar saath rahe..
Do kadam aur sahi…Do kadam aur sahi…

koi suraj ki dagar..koi sone ka nagar..
chaand ke rath pe chale..jahaan tehre yeh nazar..
dhup dariyaaon mein hain..
phir safar paaon mein hain..
dil ka aawara diya.. doosre gaaon mein hain..
aao chale hum wahi..
do kadam aur sahi…do kadam aur sahi…

Khwaab dhaltein hain jahaan..
dil pighaltein hain jahaan..
aao chaltein hain wahi, woh zameen door nahi…
dosti hogi wahaan..roshni hogi wahaan...
uss ujaale ke liye.. jal chuke laakhon diye..
ek hum aur sahi…
do kadam aur sahi..do kadam aur sahi…

kiski awaaz hai sunn..yeh naya saaz hai sunn..
kaun rehta hai sadaa, chal ke dekhein zaraa..
raah veeraan sahi.. raat sunsaan sahi..
har ghadi saath rahe,
kitne gam saath sahi...thode gam aur sahi….
Do kadam aur sahi… Do kadam aur sahi…

Lyrics: Rahat Indori; Soundtrack: Meenaxi - A Tale of 3 Cities

2007-10-11T23:38:00.000+05:30

Today is one of those few days when, i admit, i hate to be alone!

The Business of Devotion

2007-09-23T22:48:00.000+05:30

This blog required an update several times. But i ignored it, only because it is increasingly transforming into a newspaper. But i really dont care!

Today afternoon, when i was driving across my street, i noticed a huge idol of Lord Ganesha (Vinayaka). It had been there since a week but i never bothered to look at it, only because the accompanying noisy (noise is sweeter) drums (the din-chak din-chak) and a swarm of drunken devotees always disgusted me enough, that i took some other route to reach my house. well, enroute, i used to see atleast 6 smaller Ganeshas...thats a different story. So today afternoon,when we were passing by that huge idol, my mother startled me with some local information, or say the information which only our colony people know. That idol was worth Rs.80,000. Shudder is the right word to describe my expression after i heard that. Rs.80,000. and the entire street is filled with posters of some esteemed rogue-like dignitaries belonging to the association which has put up that idol. Wonder how much money has been put into those hundreds of posters. The electricity. The sound arrangements for uninterrupted torture to the neighbours. How much does it all come to? How many lakhs?

People spend some lakhs on 1 such idol, and to think of it, in the entire city of Hyderabad, with thousands of idols being put up in every bylane, how much money is being invested in all this fray. We have a chief association in Hyderabad for organising this etire thing for the city. This organisation is headed by some bastards, sorry, politicians (i think it is high time the english pundits realize that both are synonyms, atleast in India)who hog money in the face of devotion(they do it for anything anyways). These people weild power in their hands. They are the people who execute this mass business and make a profit of it. They incite the people to put up so many idols. They procure the permissions from Government, and if they are denied permission anywhere, they protest on the roads, blocking the traffic and creating a havoc.

After putting them up, the Indian comedy show continues. Everyday, the locals organize a series of programs and stuff to keep the show running. These include, not just conducting prayers but also dances. I have seen people dancing to a 'Kajra Re' at one of the idols. Indeed, even devotion has come of age.

After the so called 10 days, when each and every politician involved is content with the bulge of his pocket,the time has come for immersion. Despite the cour order from Supreme Court that idols could be immersed anywhere, this great association throws every court order to thin air and passes a ruling that all the idols should be immersed only at Hussain Sagar lake. They stick to it, only because it has been TRADITION to immerse the idols there. Thus starts another comedy show. Now, thats the final call, where they can make some more money. Government itself spends huge money for immersion arrangements.

And when the D-day arrives, the investment runs into crores. be it for police, for arrangements, or for the posters(millions of them), for garlands, for procession, for drummers, arrack shops, just everything. People get drunk, and still perform the poojas. They create a mayhemwith the city traffic, and yet get away with it. the sound pollution. All this...worth some hundreds of crores. And where is that money going? Hussain Sagar Lake. Ironically, the lake wake is being cleaned 365 days a year, although i always found it stinking.

The show ends when everyone is happy, with their wants satisfied. The politicians are happy with their pockets. The public is happy with the merry ride they had, and will continue to believe that their drunk dance on the streets is enough to wash all their sins away. The priests are happy because they earned much more than what they usually earn. The owners of arrack shops and wine shops are happy because of the spike in sales. The deaf drummers are happy because they earned their share too. The police are happy because their share from the corrupt bounty reached them. The electricity department officials were silenced long ago so they dont have a reason to complain. the auto-rickshaw/trolley/lorry drivers and their owners are happy because the money reached them too. Everyone is happy. even Lord Ganesha is happy, for he has been a spectator (if he really was) to all this drama.Hundreds of Crores changed hands..and metamorphosized into devotion, dogma, fanatism, liquor,noise, insensibility and blindness. Everyone got what they wanted, atleast a share of it and there is no one left to complain.

But yes, there are few... far away. I heard that 40000 families are affected by floods caused by heavy rains, somewhere in the coastal side of Andhra Pradesh. 58 people died too.

Nevermind, we dont have time for all that. Dussehra is coming up. Its time for Durga Pooja folks!

India is a Developing Nation

Future Leaders

2007-08-10T13:43:00.000+05:30

This is real India...An India, which is shining...which is growing...and emerging.

Indian politicians readily take things into hand and no politician from any country has the courage and audacity to take things into hand in the way Indian politicians do. We should be proud of such people and all the more, we should be proud of ourselves, because we made them our leaders.

Take my word, India has a great future, with leaders like these. Because just unlike the leaders in our history, these leaders do not go to jail. They can never be imprisoned...whatsoever. And we WILL vote for them. They will become future ministers and will rule this nation, much like the same way they were enforcing their rule in the video.

India will shine more...grow more... and rise to a level where no other country can reach.

Be proud about this country...and its people.

I am.

FYI: Dont be disappointed by the fact those leaders in the Video have been arrested. They were granted bail by our Great Judiciary, within minutes. My Great India!

BL-IND-IA

2007-08-05T22:40:00.000+05:30

"An eye for an eye, makes the whole world Blind" - M.K.Gandhi.

Is it wrong? or Is it right?
Does it make any difference at all, today?
The people of my country are already blind...

A New Puppet in My House

2007-07-21T21:36:00.000+05:30

We have a new puppet in my house,
taking charge as the head of the house...
and this time, its a lady puppet...

i heard that the puppet is very notorious,
and despite knowing that fact,
the care-takers of my house did their best,
to make that puppet, the head of my house...

Anyways, what have i got to do with it...
my house has been heading for shambles since long...
thanks to so many puppets and care-takers...

i sit back to enjoy the evening, talking to my friend,
recounting the many dreams and visions of my room-mates.
My friend asked me to tell a story...
and thus i started telling one,
- " In olden days, there used to be something called Conscience......."

Beyond crossed lines... Part-II

2007-07-08T23:31:00.003+05:30

The music didn't stop.The collision of my thoughts, didnt stop either. And that was no music in my mind.

Prisoners yearn to talk with strangers.Probably, they long to..just talk, be it with anyone. Yet, they maintain some dignity in the way they present themselves. They are very particular about not getting to reveal the reason why they are there. If someone asks upfront, "Why are you here?", they just look straight into the eyes and smile. A condemning expression, which is just enough to express disapproval, could actually make one feel guilty for asking it. Because it peels the veneers...of a wound, with which a prisoner lives everyday there..probably all hs life, sometimes.

I purposefully refrained myself from asking such personal questions. Yet, my informal chats with some prisoners unexpectedly steered towards such questions, the answers to which left me almost in a stoic state, for the rest of the day.

My interaction with other prisoners threw up some startling facts on my face. I didnt know how to react when a prisoner told me that over 30% of the prisoners there were actually innocent, and landed there only because they could not prove their innocence. False-cases! A sizeable chunk of people there got convicted in domestic-crime cases, such as dowry cases and suicides. There are some people who got convicted because their spouses committed suicides. Suicides for no great valid reason (is any reason valid enough?) but out of sheer depression due to frivolous reasons. The flautist there, i came to know(as narrated by another prisoner), was convicted for the same reason. His wife committed suicide, out of frustration..that he yelled at her in anger.The case filed was "dowry harrassment". He couldn't prove his innocence and in an attempt to save his parents, he took the blame.

In these situations, one might argue if what we are told by the prisoners stands for truth or not. Even i encountered the same thought, when i was talking to them. "Is it really the truth?" . A clutter of thoughts.. But then, i just thought - "what would this man gain by passing a fictitious story as truth?" Sympathy?? what sympathy can i shower on a person whom i meet only once in my life to interact for only 15 minutes? and what does it fetch him in return, materialistically? would a convict really bother about his image on my mind, when he knows that i am just a visitor there, a real stranger, and can't make a frigging different to his life, in whatsoever state it is? would he camouflague the real story for his "15 minutes of sympathy?". I dont know.. he might. He might not too. But i just took the facts by face, only because...if i were in his place, i wouldnt really care about what a visitor would think about me. Because a visitor..is a mere visitor and cannot change the status-quo of my life, in any way. So, if i were in his place, i would probably remain silent or even if i wish to speak, i might speak the truth as well.

One more guy i spoke to, had similar experience. He is an engineer and his brother is a IIT-grad now working in London. He said that he couldnt pay more money(after selling the pawning the property he had) to the Judge, during the time of his trial (4 yrs ago), for which, he has been sentenced for 5 years.When i asked "even Judges?", he said that, right from moment FIR is filed, it is only money which moves. Any particular post where the flow of money stops, the man ends up in jail. "95% of the judges are corrupt", he said. Given the recent case where the witnesses were openly bribed(shown on TV using cameras, but still, the briber/accused go scott free..it happens only in India), in a high-profile case stuck in Supreme Court, i felt that his estimate wouldnt be entirely wrong, though i hoped it could be an exaggerated estimate. whatever! i felt like spitting on the Indian Judiciary, on which my faith had always been going down...to zilch.

I learnt that the typical 7 year imprisonment is actually not 7 years and that it would actually come down to 4.5 to 5 years, if the behaviour of the convict is good.But what if the convicted person is actually innocent? to think of it, how many innocent people! being in jail is what? is it loss of just liberty? or loss of life tooo, although it is not a death sentence? its 4-7 years? it is loss of everything. career, personal life, personal moments, relationships, dreams, possible futures, hopes. its loss of life. whats left? its 4-7 years of waiting. frustration. anger and all consummating into - "making of another criminal". i am sure, if i were falsely convicted for any reason, i would definitely become a criminal by the end of my sentenced period. and Who makes such criminals!! Our Law! Our Judiciary!

I dont know how prisons were before, but there are some fair things about the one i visited. Prisoners have the opportunity to keep themselves occupied during the day. There are two factories where some of them work. Then, there are courses such as polytechnic, electronics, arts etc. hich some prisoners take up. Everyday, meditation classes are conducted there, which a good number of prisoners attend. if the conduct of a prisoner is really good, he is even allowed to speak to his family almost daily if they visit him. Otherwise, typically, they are allowed some 30 minutes to 60 minutes on any day in a week. But i thought for a moment, "what would the waiting for that moment, be like?" and after waiting for a whole week, if a prisoner's family do not visit him, for some reason, what kind of thouughts hark in his mind? Restless ones? if so, of what magnitude?

By evening, we bid good-byes to the prisoners. Since we were running short of time, we could go around only through some corridors of the prison. I understood that prison is no different from a hostel or a dormitory, except for the fact that the basic rights of a person are stripped.
with a variety of mixed feelings, i got into the bus, to head back home. The events of the day rolled like a mini movie in my mind again and gave me many thoughts, at the end of the day, two of which are :

1. One of the most priceless yet valuable things in life, apart from life, is Liberty. The liberty to chose one's own moment(s) and to make many such choices which make up a living.

2. We need to have gratitude for whole a lot of things such as: our own luck, for being born where we are born. Then, for our upbringing and the education we had. A gratitude for the sense of rationality which was groomed in us, by people, environment, our own thoughts etc. and good deal of gratitude for our own choices till date. and not to forget, a deeper sense of gratitude for that unknown which didnt set up anything so worse for us, that would have landed us in there.

i came home at 6:00pm, with heavily loaded thoughts. As usual, i wanted to run away from them, because there was a feeling of those thoughts blasting and suffocating my mind. Unable to handle them all...i choose to take a nap.

And i slept. Again...

'Within yourself, deliverance must be searched for, because each man makes his own prison'

- Anonymous

Beyond crossed lines... Part-I

2007-06-24T22:31:00.003+05:30

"We are all prisoners but some of us are in cells with windows and some without."

- Kahlil Gibran

I thought it would be just another day, with little difference. The company i am working in, wanted to make some difference, atleast on one-day in a year. It mandated that all the employees would do some community service, a social work sort of thing on one day. Managers and Team leaders formed several threads which focussed on many activities such as planting trees, visiting orphanages, old-age homes, distributing clothes to street children etc. My thread was called "Happiness behind the bars", which required us to visit the central prison so that we can mingle with the jail-inmates and ignite some self-confidence in them. The idea was to conduct some activities so that they have fun too. Without even a faint idea about how the experience would be like, i went to Central Prision located at Cherlapally, Hyderabad.

The ticker of thoughts startoff the moment you enter into a prison. and that is true for everyone. I just saw how a prison actually is, and how different it is from what we imagine, thanks to the innumerable movies which project a Pseudo picture of prison.

All the jail-inmates assembled at an open place, which has a dias sort of thing. They were already waiting for us. As i walked ahead, to sit with them, a sudden gush of thoughts struck my mind. those thoughts were loud. quite loud. every face looked at me as i walked past. My gaze was slipping down, for some unknown reason. I dont know why i was feeling guilty to look into their eyes. Perhaps, the guilt was about me being there, which i am sure, must have provoked the still-thoughts of all the people there. It takes lot of courage to look at their face. I couldnt gather it all, the moment it started slipping down. i just needed some time. Probably every face looking at me was jealous about me. and it was me who provoked it, by being there. After few moments, i began looking at the people..just to know who they were and what initial-reactions would my brain synthesize, from the observations.

The look on each face there...it is inexplicable. I didnt really see the faces much. I only looked into their eyes and that was indeed the ice -breaking part of the whole thing. Every look, was no doubt similar to each other, but they had lot in them.probably i was reading too much into them... but my perception of their looks carried lot of baggage. Because there was hidden story behind every face. i just wondered the number of times, they would have recounted the same story, sitting there..with a hope that a day would arrive when they dont have to recount it again and just begin everything afresh.

A prison is one place where a highly educated and well-civilised person and a complete uncouth, both, share a joke, indulge in a conversation and even respect each other. This is a sight which i never got to saw before, not even in the best of temples, which are supposed to be the abodes of God, in front of whom, all are equal. What strange relationship binds two jail inmates? It is not just similar to that of two room-mates in a hostel. Because somewhere deep within oneself, every person, after emarking on a journey of introspection (and retrospection), gets tired talking to oneself and ends up talking out his mind to people around him.

When i went on distributing the refreshment packets to all the people there, some people dispelled every notion of mine, regarding a prison and a criminal, by responding in a very suave - "Thank You very much Sir..". And everytime a gentleman there responded that way, my mind was bombarded with "what might have happened!!". That afternoon, i felt some explosions in my mind...quite many times.

When the cultural events programme started, few prisoners there entertained their fellow friends with some folk and baul songs. When an announcement was made that a certain gentleman would be playing flute, i looked for him, in eager anticipation. Thought it would be another folk tune. To my surprise, that gentleman started playing something which i could very much identify. An Aalaap in Raag 'Keeravani'. the 2-min aalaap later dissolved into an enchanting performance of the song "Zara Zara" from Rehna Hai tere Dil mein ("Vaseegara in Tamil). He played the song, completely, along with interludes and all..to the perfection. The thunderous applause (even from my end), gave me a jolt. Later, the same gentleman played many other telugu songs, and every song was prefixed with a brief aalap of the raaga in which that song was composed. They included Raag "Mohana" ("Bhoopali in Hindustani") , Raag "Suddha Dhanyasi" and Raag "Sivaranjani". Among the songs played to perfection, the most notable was the breathless composition of the late 80s "Maate raani chinnadaani" from film "O paapa Laali" (song "Mannil Intha" from tamil film "Keladi Kanmani").

Obviously curious, i later got to talk to this flautist and mentioned to him the raagas he played. He told me that he got to learn indian classical music for 3 years but due to some unavoidable circumstances, couldnt pursue further since life led him to that place. after having a brief discussion on indian classical music with him, he gave me a small token of gift - a small book having some sacred chants. he was so down to earth and soft-spoken, which really made me more curious about the reason why he was there. i didnt ask him though. But what touched me the most was when he told me - " today's songs are all crap. i dont even listen to them, forget playing. if you ask my favourites, i can say - Only Ilaiyaraaja". i immediately gathered the words "I have a huge collection of ilaiyaraaja's music, i would like to give it to you...". i couldn't utter them.

(to be continued...)

The Journey Home

2007-06-21T14:39:00.001+05:30

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The journey home...Is never too long
Your heart arrives before the train
The journey home...Is never too long
Some yesterdays always remain
I'm going back to where my heart was light
When my pillow was a ship I sailed through the night

The journey home...Is never too long
When open arms are waiting there
The journey home...Is never too long
There's room to love and room to spare
I want to feel the way that I did then
I'll think my wishes through before I wish again

Not every road you come across...Is one you have to take
No, sometimes standing still can be...The best move you ever make

Aajaa Saawariyaa!! Aajaa Saawariyaa!!

The journey home...Is never too long
One helps to heal the deepest pain
The journey home...Is never too long
Your heart arrives before the train

Aajaa Saawariyaa!! Aajaa Saawariyaa!!
Aajaa Saawariyaa!!

composed by: A.R.Rahman; Lyrics: Don Black; Album: Bombay Dreams

2007-06-14T23:49:00.000+05:30

Today, i couldn't recognize that a certain song sample i was listening to is set in Raag Kalyani. I couldnt identify Raag Kalyani. Shame!!!! Thuuu!

Kinky Saas Bhi Kabhie Bahu Thii...The Unending saga of Slaughter-in-Raw

2007-06-07T00:52:00.000+05:30

I think every Indian is aware of this daily soap on star-plus - Kyon ki saas bhi kabhi bahoo thi. well, every indian citizen is supposed to, as Phektha kapoor..sorry! Ektha Kapoor has made sure that it is in the DNA of every indian's domestic life. Afterall its a daily serial (killer)..watched my millions of sin-dians..i mean..indians.. Ever wondered when did this serial start? (C'mon...thats easy guys!, the difficult one is to wonder when would it end...).

It all started..long ago...7 years ago...7 years is big time...and when it started, it was sort of a strom on television...even today, it is...just watch one episode, you get to see camera movements in so many angles, the same expression on the same face (which you saw 7 years ago), but through so many cameras..each covering every possible angle, the most important being:

1. camera closing in from left to right.

2. then from right to left.
3. then from top to bottom.
4.and lastly from bottom to top.

Notice (because u cant ignore) the extraordinary usage of percussions for this scene..but wait..it isnt over yet. the above sequence is only for a single dialogue uttered by a certain actually-55-year-old-but-looks-30 aunty whose chiffon sarees are no less less glittering than the ones worn by Rani Mukherjee or related clan. now, apparently this female has a daughter-in-law who mouths a counter dialogue and then, the director and camera-man showcase one of their innovative ideas:

1. camera closes from right to left.
2. and now from left to right.
3. one from from bottom to top.
4. and then from top to bottom.

unfortunately, the background music composer cannot showcase the same creativity and he repeats the same percussions, assaulting our ears. well, this goes on for quite sometime with lot of drama, action, and what not!

The Devan Verma of Hrishikesh Mukherjee's Golmaal would have said: kya nahi hain is story mein...action..drama..comedy...sex..romance.violence...qawwali..cabret..main aaj hi ise Rishi Kapoor ko sunaaoonga..woh paagal hojaayega..He will go Maaad!!

arey Devan bhai..why that kapoor..our Ekta Kapoor is showing it on TV since 7 years..aur log paagal ho rahe hai..they are going mad!!!

One more aspect quite commendable about this serial is the height of creativity of the team involved..Imagine..they sit and make up the story for the night..just 2-3 days before it is aired.i mean..there is no script as such..but the team decides it then and there and build on the story so far shot..to make the next episode. you know what thats called.."Improvisation..in a new dimension".. whoa! and even if a scene is written..say a 3 page scene..they actually improvise it technically, with those all-angle-camera shots into 3 episodes..c'mon, which director/team can beat it tell me?

The biggest feat, which Ekta Kapoor managed is something unparalled by anyone...never before..and never again..just like the way Gabbar singh says "gabbar ke taak se sirf ek hi aadmi bachaa saktha hai..ek hi aadmi....KHUD GABBAR"...Ekta Kapoor's feat could be challenged and beat by..Ekta Kapoor herself..and that feat is: "Defying Nature"..defying science..C'mon, not everyday you come across a mother-in-law, whose daughter-in-law is a mother-in-law to someone who has a daughter-in-law, the son of which is about to marry a female....just count the generations...6!! hey wait..! how come its just 6...going by the number of years..its been 7 years since the serial has started..so, if logic serves right, there should be 7 generations..i think i missed one more character somewhere in the loop..sorry Ekta..Galthi hogayee!!

So, every generation lives on..beating nature..science..and most importantly..Logic! This is Ekta's Biggest Feat.

and consequently, there is a corollary-feat there. With this feat, Ekta Kapoor managed to Insult the Intelligence of millions of people. and c'mon guys..there is no disputing the fact. She did. thats all. How can you explain someone assaulting the entire nation, for 7 years...5 days a week!! that too, without letting them feel a pinch of it!!

For your relentless commitment to challenge the Cognitive faculties of viewers! Ekta..Take a bow!

Now, you guys must be wondering whats the crux of this post...c'mon,.have you ever wondered whats the crux of that serial..so, stop figuring that out. But to think of it, i have idenitified the crux of this serial. Its Slaughter-in-raw...sorry..its Daughter-in-law!

The thing is...Apparently, the most famous character of this serial "Tulsi" would be dying tonight. SHOCKED!!! now c'mon..dont get shocked here! u should get shocked while watching it, if you dare to..or else, all those camera rushes and percussions would go waste.

But the twist in the tale is..Tulsi would not actually die (did i disappoint anyone here). The actress (she defnly is..) who potrayed (yes, i take the responsibility of using this word here) the role of Tulsi is making an exit tonight..and the character would be given to some other actress sometime soon.

and i know whats coming next: How do I know this? well..thats the crux of this post!
Thanks to NDTV and its highly responsible journalism, this news was aired as headlines/coverstory all this evening-through night. infact, its just not a news-bit, they went on to do complete cover-story, public-opinion, blah blah blah...for the entire evening-night.They surely have learnt a thing or two from Phektha Kapoor..sorry again..Ektha Kapoor...i can call it "Journalism..touching a new dimension".

For your foray into Yellow Journalism! NDTV! Take a bow!

So, dont worry, if you are a masochist, then you can still continue watching the serial...you wont be disappointed... the lady whom you saw getting married in the last episode will become a mother-in-law to someone whose daughter-in-law will welcome her own daughter-in-law into the family despite the latter(the latter-most infact) being pregnant and all the preceeding daughter-in-laws/mother-in-laws will bless the child who will grow up to bring another daughter-in-law, whose................. and it continues..

The show will go on...People will watch on...They are used to it, right! Now, even mediocre is sky for them, just like for Ekta..and she is trying her best to reach that sky, with ample support from her loyal audience.

for your ultra-ordinary patience! My fellow country-women!!! take a bow!

and for all the men who watch it... i think they deserve the highest applause, if any.

Please continue watching it my dear viewers...and watch this space, after 7 generations...for someone from the 7th generation in my family, would extol Ekta Kapoor, her time/age-defying characters, the same serial and you all too..again...in this blog... (its my/our humble attempt to match with the longevity of Ekta and her world of Kinky Saas Bhi Kabhie Bahu Thii)

and mind you..all the females, be it mother-in-law or(and) daughter-in-law(the women don both the roles!!)...will continue to look like bimbettes with chiffon sarees (la Sushmita Sen)..as usual.Isn't it Kinky??

I hate God!

2007-05-19T23:00:00.000+05:30

She played with her friends for quite some time.
when her mother came to pick her up, at her school,
it was time to say Good-Bye.

When her mother was driving,
the 7-year old girl complained that she was feeling hungry.
Her mother assured that she would pick something,
for her...

Suddenly, everyone on the road came running.
The mother turned back...
The girl fell down, under the bus.

On the hospital bed, with blood-stained body shivering,
vomitting blood all over, the little girl could still talk...
with folded hands, she pleaded the doctors,
"please save me...i want to live...Please..."
the doctors tried their best,
and came out of the room, with moist eyes...

It was Life's turn...to say Good-bye..to her.
She was just 7.
didnt see much world...didnt see much life...
but wanted to live...desperately.
Yet, she died.

Whose mistake was it?

I hate God!

A Rendezvous To Contemplate...

2007-05-01T16:41:00.000+05:30

A fortnight ago, during mid-night,
when rain came with its pattering feet,
someone knocked my door...
When i opened the door,
i found the Moon standing there...
completely drenched...
"Can i stay here for tonight", she asked.
"Sure", i answered with a smile,
the beam of which was lost in the shine,
which She brought into my room...
"Here! dry yourself first and have some coffee", i offered.
"Thanks", the moon said, grabbing the towel,
and wiping her full bloomed face,
which was tantalizingly trancing...
even with the dark blotches...
Sitting in the room next to each other,
and sipping hot coffee, and on some music...
we exchanged few pleasantries...

Didnt notice how time flew by and when,
but sleep didnt flit in my eyes even for a moment...
as we kept on talking, All night long...
about each other, about our worlds,
the worlds in which we live,
and the worlds which live in our imaginations...
knowing each other, like old friends who meet after many years...
knowing that we perhaps have known each other before..
Me & My Esteemed Guest.

At some time during the wee hours,
the rain took leave of the night,
and so did its music, giving way for solemn silence...
and we heard the door knock again...
i opened the door...to see the Sun standing there..
The Sun walked in and said to the Moon,
"Vacate this room! It is my turn now".
Thanking me for the hospitality, the moon took my leave,
promising me that she would visit again, soon...

Since then, the sun has been a daily visitor,
and so has been the night, with its robe of darkness..
but not the rain and the moon...
who have been eluding with their music...
forgetting the promises made...

Every night, like a Shy Bride ,
the moon plays only hide & seek,
behind the veils of clouds and darkness,
but never blossoms in full, in the garden of sky...
The dark blotches on my glowing-towel,
the beaming cup which the moon kissed..
my lonesome room where the silence is still dangling...
all await for the beautiful moon...just like me...
and I dont know when she would keep up her promise.

Perhaps another fortnight...

Narayana Murthy speaks...

2007-03-30T00:10:00.000+05:30

OK. The Indians faced disappointment in the World Cup. Well, i had no expectations, so i dont claim to be one among those disappointed lot. I think we people have made a lot about this cricket fever. Everyday, the news headlines is about Cricket controversies and related stuff, while more socially relevant news items such as the death of a certain army officer is hardly covered. Infact, the cricket battles are so uninteresting that the moment i come across the ongoing disagreements between coaches and players and all that crap, i simply ignore it all. But i was bigtime surprised when Narayana Murthy, the Infosys idol, for whom i have lot of respect, voiced out his opinions on the cricket issue. The article which appeared in Times of India, is a kind of bitter-pill which the Indian team needs to swallow, in order to diagnose itself. Although his thoughts are pointed at the Indian cricket team, the thoughts are powerful enough to be applied anywhere, be it indian society or government machinery or a company or just any entity. Apart from carrying the undertones of inspiration, i felt that his thoughts have a fine blend of honesty, ruthlessness and simplicity. If only, these simple thoughts are put to action by people, India would have really been shining?

United these Bastards stand!

2007-03-30T00:08:00.000+05:30

Did it ever happen in Indian political arena that all the political parties reached a consensus? Yes, it happened once. When a certain bill was proposed in the parliament, requiring all the MPs to declare their assets and income, all the political parties opposed it. well! that was not surprising. Afterall, they are Bastards.

After years, it happened again today.

The Supreme Court of India put on hold, the 27% quota for OBCs in all government aided higher educational institutions, proposed by our great central government. The court said - "Nowhere else in the world do castes classes or communities queue up for the sake of gaining backward status. Nowhere else in the world is there competition to assert backwardness and then to claim that we are more backward than you". Well! in my opinion, that statement was a slap on the face of Indian Soceity. Though the issue has not been resolved yet, the stay order from Supreme Court, gives a ray of hope to people who are fighting for the cause. But they have bigger enemies. The same bastardical clan of Indian politicians. All the political parties are united to express their disappointment and disapproval of the Court's order.

At times, i really dont understand people in India. they elect a person and forget about him. Why dont we indians have the juices in our balls to drag these politicians out of their offices/parliament and flog them on the streets, when we know that what they are doing is not right? Why do militants and terrorists create havoc in public places only, killing innocent people? Why didnt India witness a great revolution(i dont consider Independence struggle as a great revolution)? Or a civil war, ousting these bastards whose interests were diammetrically opposite to that of the people of this country? Why are we tolerating all these bastards who are not only unscrupulous, but are utterly shameless, conscienceless and openly/brazenly dishonest?

Why?

if not violence, why not a Satyagraha atleast? When will we realize that behind all this 8% GDP growth, thousands of lives are in shambles solely because of these politicians? When will all the people come together, in consensus, to revolt against these Bastards?

Do You Feel Music?

2007-03-19T23:38:00.000+05:30

Of the many genres of music i listen to, everyday, i relate myself the most to Indian Music. Ofcourse, i might again include few other non-Indian genres too, which have invariably crept into indian music, thanks to great blending ideas of great composers here. But the beauty of Indian music is that, the tunes evoke certain feelings. and composers use their mastery by trapping varied emotions in a single raaga. the notes are same, for the raaga. only the presentation varies...and then, the perception of the listener changes. The mood and the feeling eneveloped in the tune changes completely. When i say 'feeling', how can one identify it with a tune? 'Pain' is one of the many emotions one experiences and how can one transform it into music (without words). For a moment, if we keep aside the genius of a composer, who can evoke such a feeling through a composition, the question i would like to focus on is - "how can someone perceive pain, by listening to a tune?". How is it that a certain slant/piece in "Subha Panthuvaraali" raaga, for example, conveys pain and the same raaga also conveys exuberance! Though the composer does his part, by covering both hues in the same raaga, the listener can distinguish and experience both feelings, even though he is not musically literate. How?

Liberated at 4/10

2007-02-28T20:27:00.000+05:30

Year 2005

I joined Masters in Finance course, only because i didnt know where to go. i planned something else but i landed up somewhere else. Do we really make conscious choices and stick by them or do we make choices and stick by the stand-by options life gives us. i dont know. When i entered Masters in Finance, i didnt really know what i was getting into. Yes, i did have an idea about what all is being dealt in this course and things like that. But as the journey went on, the internal conflicts doubled. Everyday, i asked myself - " Why am i doing this?". Like many other questions, this one haunted me a lot. and like every answer to all those questions, the answer to this one too had only a blank face. it was a choice i made. i lived with it, despite so many compromises and misgivings.

Year 2007 (take it as Today)

I finished the Master's course. If i am to judge my performance or knowledge on a 10 point scale, i would not give more than 4 to myself. i wont say i was too careless. but i didnt give my best too. i just did what i felt like, at any instant of time. and today, i have relieved myself from all the obligations today.Well, not all, but atleast the academic ones. i dont know if i would really take up any text-book or not in future, but for some days atleast.......

I am a liberated man

Btw, Now that i have (err! successfully)completed my Masters in Finance, i welcome all the people seeking investment ideas to consult me, if interested in something called - 'charity'.

Me and my estranged Self

2007-01-25T19:28:00.000+05:30

Last night i went out
in darkness...
the remains of the evening rain,
still infusing with fragrant breath of flowers...
while few flowers in the garden of sky,
still twinkling.. to the silent sonatas of the midnight...

I thought i would find my Self,
somewhere...
i lost it long ago,
somewhere...
when i got into a train,
chasing life...
i guess it fell down,
somewhere near the rail-tracks.

Last night, i went back,
i thought i would find my self,
But the harder i searched,
the more i lost myself,
in the cacophony of the midnight agonies...
The loud cries of Hunger,
silent wails of suffocated relationships,
stories of blood, rape and dejection,
from the rooms of caste and religion...
all of them,
traced and retraced their sour notes,
into the loud sonance of the still silence...

i didn't find my Self near the rail-tracks.
It should have been lying there..,
but it was there.
Where is it?
- "Did that train run over my Self"?

Epilogue:

Tired, i walked back...
and my own footsteps became very weary,
burdened with the pangs of guilt.
i reached my room,
inhabited by the homely silence,
when i realized,
my Self was lying there,
waiting for me...
it spoke to me in the language i just heard,
the language of the midnight...

My Self reminded me - i am no lesser criminal,
whenever i board a train,
turning a blind eye & deaf ear,
to the never ending dins of the midnight...
My Self divorced me that night
That moment was no longer tied to a stillness,
neither there were sonatas in the sky...

my own breath killed the fragrance of the night
the breath - which is yet to seek its meaning.

Groping for forgetten self...

2007-01-09T02:18:00.000+05:30

New year resolutions have a speciality, a unique significance. They die before they see february. To get back to blogging, i really needed a strong drive and i got that by resolving not to update this blog.
Everyone was wondering what happened to me. This blog has been lying idle since god knows when? No, it was not writer's block. Its sheer laziness and moody nature of mine. But now, atleast theoretically, things seem to be stabilizing.
Its been 24 hrs since i took up the 1st full-time job of my life, that of a associate analyst. 1 day through the work, i received reminders that i am not cut out for a typical 10-7 job like this.Also, with a schedule and work like that, i am sure the Real-Self inside me would meet its end sometime soon. I probably need to atleast attempt to give it more life, which is why i broke my new year resolution, much to my own pleasure.

All these days, i have been waiting for a job..and now when i have one..i can feel a sense of waiting for something else?
Someone has rightly written this fantastic dialogue in a fantastic film: "Yeh Zindagi bhi ek Waiting Room hain"...

My New Year Resolution

2007-01-01T00:09:00.000+05:30

Another year has withered away....

And here is my New Year resolution:

From now onwards, I wouldnt be updating this blog frequently...

Bangalore Times - 3 (Return of the Roosters)

2006-09-07T23:21:00.000+05:30

...continued from previous post

The wedding day arrived. now this was the D-day for us (and also to the groom). Though we promised the cabbie that we would be all ready by 8:30 or so, each of us followed IST and eventually hopped into the cab at 10:15 or so. Govind & Venu were in traditional outfits, Govind was in the most traditional one that too... A dhoti and a shirt - the Tam Iyengar look.we reached the wedding hall when the Kasi-Yatra was going on. i always wondered what would be the scene like if the groom refuses to give in to the wishes of his would-be brother-in-law.just imagine! if the groom really leaves for Kasi...i was explaining about the ritual to my northie friends,when suddenly i had to interrupt..."There she is...Glittering...wow!"... "god!! how did you make her dude!!"...

we headed for the break-fask (or say, Brunch). The pongal was terriffikkk! infact the food was nothing less than awesome.we guys did nothing as such...basically killed time...(read between the lines) and had lunch too..the food served for lunch was superb too...after some time, we came back to our rooms and had a good nap...half of the pple left..to catch their bus..back to hyderabad.

after much deliberation, we(myself,govind,bala,anisha and venu) zeroed in on this hangout called "Amoeba" in Brigade Road...went there to play Bowling. well! for the information of the visitors of this blog, the first time ever i played(tried) Bowling was here..in Amoeba.. good game..had good fun infact, especially because i could play fairly well with the balls(pun intended)..err!

looking for an inexpensive restaurant in Brigade road isnt such an easy task..that too at 10:00pm. even when we found few, there was no food. Finally, we had to settle for a normal Shanti Sagar-ish restaurant. that was the dinner for that night..good or bad..whatever.

i had my programme for Saturday well chalked. i had to meet two guys i met(and made friends) on orkut. one was a mandolin player. we have already exchanged mails about what music we have and what do we need from each other. so, i reached the meeting point taking along with me, the music-DVDs i had burnt for him. he was kind enough to burn a hell a lot of collection for me. had breakfast with him and after a small tete-chat, we headed for Brigade Road again, this time, to attack the planet-M. browsed a lot, bough some music and then, i had another appointment to keep up. this time, another guy(friend from orkut) whom i have promised to meet. we met up, had lunch. he was another interesting guy and we wanted to spend more time in discussiing lot of other stuff, but time was a constraint. Sanjay said that he wanted to meet us at FORUM, a shopping mall somewhere near kormangla. We rushed to that place and finally found him in Landmark store. Sanjay showed me a DVD- "Concert for BangaDesh", by George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Ali Akbar Khan, Bob Dylan, Pt.Ravi Shankar etc.,the price was about 1500 bucks and none of us had the auks(aukaads) to buy that at the moment.

within no time, venu and anisha showed up and we guys just sat there. probably i was lil frustrated over something and my toungue was wagging a lot...i mean..i couldnt keep silent..i was watching all the people passing-by and kept on commenting something or the other.

We took a walk to the Christ college there but alas! we were denied an entry since Sanjay didnt have even his old ID-card.After people dispersed, Sanjay dropped myself and Govind at a restaurant where we said "Cheers!" and had some food.

Sunday lunch was a treat from Govind's cousin, after which we picked up Bala at Forum and came back to the room. Within few mins, we were at Cantonment station to board a train back to hyderabad. The journey was a good one, afterall, gossipping always kills time..especially during journeys with friends.

A nice Holiday! well spent!

Bangalore Times -2 (Confessions of a Reluctant Misogynist)

2006-09-02T01:01:00.000+05:30

I am eager to write about many other things but i guess i should first finish these Bangalore Chronicles.So...

...continued from previous post

I have been to Brigade Road before...few years ago. That time, i didnt browse the street much, except for the two most-important avenues(important for me), Music world and Planet-M. This time, with Govind, it was different. He lead us througha narrow-unassuming bylane, across Brigade Road. "Select Book House"-Where like-minds meet... was our destination. the tagline was quite eye-catching. The shoppe was a very small 2 room warehouse of Old books. The very look of the books reminded of Library-1930 editions-brown pages-scent of old paper-few crumbling pages and some dust...the shoppe housed some thousands of books and what dropped my jaws on to the floor(rolling my tongue out till brigade Road) was that , the entire collection was a personal collection. The old-man, to whom the collection belongs was not in the shoppe, although Govind had some unforgettable childhood experiences with the man and his shoppe. we (partially)browsed the collection for about 1-2 hours, zeroed in on few books (although there were many more to buy...to browse the entire collection needs one full-day) and half-heartedly decided to get back to the room.

Bangalore infamous traffic did delay us a bit, but not much. Back in the room, no one was there and 3 of us killed time with the killers we bought in the book shoppe. everyone dropped in slowly and within just few hours(girls...sarees...now! you know the time required in order to put everything in place...and self-hypnotize with "Oh my God! i am wearing Saree for a Party..and i must look good....good enough to turn few heads") everyone was ready. All of us were very bothered about the usual formality...giving some bouquet to the blessed-couple but then, we couldnt find any enroute. So, there was only one thing which each of us could give...A Shake-Hand and we did that.

Sanjay dressed as impeccably as ever...i was not surprised seeing him, because there was nothing new about it. Sanjay's Mom, exuding what is called as "Grace". She is indeed one of the most beautiful women i have seen in my life, age-no-bar.Everyone was in formals and so were we. They have arranged for a music-programme too and the artists were doing some good job infact. barring a couple of kannada-folk songs, which didnt run down well with me, they were very keeping up the mood with some fantastic Old Hindi songs and classical Krithis. One unforgettable one was a hindi number in Raag Desh. if only i could record that one, it was superb. Songs from "Pallavi Anupallavi" were equally rocking.

We headed for Dinner(the most important event of the day) and the food tasted good too. Quite a variety cuisine. It was in the dining hall that i came across a lady who was carrying herself elegantly in a pink saree. the first thought which occurred to me was-"She is Beautiful". well! yes,she was as beautiful as the sentence means...i must have seen many beautiful ladies in my life but very few faces stick in the mind for long and she had something like that. i do not like to use thesaurus here to describe here because she couldnt be described by many adjectives. only one - Beauty. the harder i tried to pull my gaze away from her face( let me be frank with my own self..did i really try??? hmm!!! no comments), the more i was looking at her, past the shoulders and curtains.

Well! without any embrassment, i told about the same to Sanjay, when he told me that she was his cousin. after some "chaudhvin ka chaand ho" kind of imaginary excursions, i was introduced to her by Sanjay...or should i say WE were introduced to her by Sanjay. Yet, a curtain of silence over-rode on those meaningless exchange of glances. Perhaps that imaginary excursion & the song didnt end yet...and the moment slipped.

My dear Keats, i dont know if she is/was a joy forever...But she was indeed a Thing of Beauty...

to be continued...

Bangalore Times -1

2006-08-27T17:22:00.000+05:30

3rd August 2006

Finally the holiday kick-started. If you are wondering what holiday it was, i better give a preface. My friend Sanjay invited us (the roosters plus 3 more gurlzz) to Bangalore. Occasion was his Brother's wedding. Since all the roosters were desperate to take a break and go somewhere, this invitation came at the right time. We infact waited for this day to arrive. 2nd August, we boarded the Bangalore Express at Kacheguda and the journey was a good one. Though we guys thought of skipping sleep, eventually everyone did take a nap. We reached the Bangalore Cantonment Station in the morning and the holiday actually kick-started.

The Ciggy-Roosters were terribly eager their Ciggs since its been 14 long hours (C'mon 14 hours of break is very long, by all counts, for anyone who smokes) since they had their last cigg. everyone was waiting for Sanjay to arrive since his break was much more longer - 24 hours. Finally, Sanjay arrived in his Scorpio. one of the unforgettable gestures of Sanjay was that he actually arranged a vehicle for all the 8 of us, for this entire 4 day trip. Had that not been there, i wonder how we guys could have managed. That’s really sweet of him.

We went to the apartment in Benson Town, that’s we were to stay for the next 4 days in Bangalore. The gurlz were little disappointed since there was only 1 common Bathroom (that too unattached) for the 2 rooms we have booked. Since everyone had their own plans of going out and meeting people during the day-time, we guys decided to cock up and have our own way (day). ‘We’ = Myself, Govind & Bala (by the way, you can read his version of the same Trip-Chronicles on his Blog, good read). To give way for the ladies and other guys, we 3 decided to have our morning ablutions at Govind’s Attha’s Place. Meanwhile Sanjay left for his place, after another round of ciggs (this time, the break was only 30mins). Having charted out the plan for the day (that there was no plan as such), we started off from Benson Town. Enroute we dropped by Venu’s place (thereby dropping him there) to meet his parents. Spent some time there with each of us dabbling with Guitar, keyboard and thumbas.

Govind’s attha’s place had the typical look of big-old-tamil-iyengar house. The house was 60yr old and the vintage look didn’t wean away a bit, right from the flooring to the old furniture. Barely few minutes after I stepped in, I fell in love with that place. Perfect look. I can as well make a film there. The bathroom was a big one too…which made me love it more.

Finishing out ablutions, we headed for the most important moment of the Day. No, I am not talking about the Reception Party of Sanjay’s Family but the afternoon meal, the lunch. Well, it could be said as breakfast actually. But what we had was actually a Brunch. Govind spotted that one of THE BEST Masala Dosa eat-out joint is very much open. Butter-Masala-Dosa was what we ordered and it was indeed one of THE BEST I had till now. After one round, we went for another. Well, it deserved another actually.

After that, we hit off for the most talked-about place in Bangalore - The Brigade Road.

to be continued...

Accidental Break

2006-08-26T00:14:00.000+05:30

People take long breaks at times...especially from the work which they like doing. And i hate that a lot, especially when the subject of work is creativity.The break i took wasnt an intended one. It was by sheer accident...as accidental as my existence..as accidental as my choices...I wanted to(as always) write about lot of stuff which had happened during this last 1 month. tried to chronicle some in my note-book but wasnt as successful as i thought i would be. I tried to chronicle few in my mind, but then, i uncaged my mind too.Finally, whats left are few recollections, which i wish to attempt in the forthcoming blogs.

In Nut-Shell: I am reviving this Blog.

To kickstart, here comes a series of posts which chronicle my recent visit to Bangalore. I am yet to heat-up my other blogs too.I will go One-By-One.

One

2006-07-22T20:52:00.000+05:30

I build a fairyland of hopes,
On paper and in my heart,
In my wandering thoughts,
And on the sandy shores of time.
I decorate them with images,
Images of memories & desires,
Hanging with glistening threads of hope.
Each time I build them,
A wave rises and ruins my fairyland.
But I hold unto a single thread,
The glistening thread of hope,
Which I always spread,
Before you, and before things unknown…

Epilogue

Every evening when You come unto me,
with a warm embrace of divine music,
the moon hides itself behind a curtain of clouds,
shying away to watch..
Myself, my fairyland, my hopes,
my desires & glistening threads,
all uniting,
with You & the Unknown...
to become,
One.

Barkha Rithu - Rains & Raagas

2006-07-22T01:40:00.000+05:30

Barkha Rithu, a Santoor concert by the famous Pt.Shiv kumar Sharma, left me completely entranced, bring me more close to the instrument which had been my favourite.
My experience

Bhookh

2006-06-16T10:11:00.000+05:30

Click on the Pic (or on the title). I came across this site recently. All you need to do this Click everyday to donate a meal. It doesnt cost anything, except some space in your Favourites list. I click it everyday. I am sure everyone will, if it is spread around. Please do so.

Is India really competing with the Dragon?

2006-06-14T00:18:00.000+05:30

In the Asia pacific region, two countries which are attracting the Global attention are 'India' & 'China'. Over the last few years, these two countries have been put on the scale of competition to measure their respective performances and economists have always been quick to jump with their comparative analysis. Yes, a comparision is inevitable since we all are happy about India's 7%-8% growth but however, the perennial question, which continues to haunt is : "Can India's growth match China?".

Leading economists are happy to point out that very soon, India is bound to witness many impending changes in the which collectively would give a 180-degree phase-shift to its economy, putting it very much in a place from where it can hold a torch,not just a candle, to china's accomplishments. The percentage of Young population in the Job sector (both Public & Private sectors) is on rise and very soon, this factor, as they opine, is going to be a Midas'Touch for the Indian economy. I agree on that for we have witnessed a new wave of entrepreneurial talent pool which is going great guns putting enterprises in India on the Global map.Also there are many other factors which might contribute to India's growth. Yet, i still have some arguments.

Exports is the one of the most important parameters guaged to study the performance of developing nations like India and China. China has been riding extremely bullish on its export front, and India is lagging far behind particularily in the merchandise exports. Consider this: India's total merchandise exports in the year 2005 were US $ 89.8 billion, up from US $ 80billion, which reflects only a 12.25% growth. A startling fact we must digest here is that China's merchandise exports touched US $ 593.4 billion, in the same year which is much higher than the Total exports of India and its growth rate was almost 36%. another startling piece of data is that in the last decade, India's share in the total Global exports grew from 0.55% to 0.9% while China's share grew from 1.1% to 4.6%. Now, Can india compete with this range of escalation?

It is not only the quantity, but also the quality and export segments where china has been steadily climbing up in the export ladder. There was a time when China's exports predomanantly consisted of textiles, toys and footwear. Today, a range of Technology-driven products have replaced these segments. very recently, i read that Data processing machines, Audio-Visual equipments and electrical/electronic machinery and appliances are the top exported product segments from China. Infact, the exports from these segments alone equals the total merchandise exports from India.

Chinese companies have managed to tap the markets very effectively and have aggressively pushed up their exports with phenomenal rapidity. somehow, i feel that this sort of aggressive attitude is missing among the Indian Counterparts.
Though the exact reasons for this underperformance, as compared to China, remain elusive to the analysts, one can apparently begin to believe that India is still to strike the right balance and equation between skilled labour and unskilled labour structures existing here. Last year, one article in Business standard revealed that China achieved a smooth transition from unskilled labour-intensive stage to semi-skilled-labour intensive stage to Captial-Intensive stage, which is currently evident in the Chinese manufacturing and export sectors. The graph of skill improvement and capital accumulation seem to be showing an upward trend, which also reflects the transition in export segments. Hence, the products which were among the topline a decade ago are now displaced by different stream of products. Such a remarkable transition cannot be possible without a coherence between the government policies and their understanding of Global markets and untapped potential.

From what i understand, China has brought the right reforms which allowed their companies to expand and bring the unskilled-labour intensive products into the capital-intensive segment, thereby creating an export market. India, on the otherhand , has a different scenario. The topline products are from the capital intensive segment only and a huge unskilled labour intensive segment is still left untapped. Why cant Indian manufacturers tap this? Why cant they corporatize this segment, individually or collectively? Very few entrepreneurs from this sector are trying to promote their products on global-platform which can give way for an organised sector over a period of time. But since these entrepreneurs need constant support, from the government policies, nothing can be speculated at this moment. Taking a liberal view, we can only hope that the evolution of an organised skilled-labour-intensive segment might be just a by-product of their efforts to gain a foothold in the national and global markets.

For them to metamorphosize into skill-labour intensive segment,or atleast a semi-skilled one, various other factors like quality of Education, Government's initiatives etc., come into picture.We very well know how well our governments have been/are performing on this front, for if there is anything which India lacks, it is efficiency at grass-root level, even if sufficient initiatives are proposed to develop these unskilled-labour-intensive sectors.But with a galore of oppurtunities lying untapped, why is it that our government failing to study and understand the markets? Why cant the Government bring in some reforms to allow the firms in this segment to tap the potential markets globally? Why cant it learn some lessons(or even blindly imitate) from neighbours instead of indulging in Chest-beating slogans like "India Shining?" why cant it focus on issues like these instead of resorting to blatant travesties of democracy like imposing Reservation Quotas , killing the worth of merit and grooming naxalites out of future entrepreneurs?

And When can India really Compete with China?

Music Mavericks Revived

2006-06-11T23:44:00.000+05:30

After many days, i revived my blog http://musicmavericks.blogspot.com today. Updated it with a post regarding the recent Concert i attended. This blog has been lying idle since long and i had so many posts lined up for that blog. Somehow nothing materialized till now. Hoefully i will be able to post in that blog frequently.

I also need to take out time to compile some trivenis and post them...its been long time i did that...

Actually my schedules require a major turn-around and basic discipline.easier said than done ofcourse.Let me see if something changes in the days to come.

Saturday Night in Hyderabad

2006-05-30T19:36:00.000+05:30

It is not everyday that is your day.Yes, there is a saying - "Every Dog has its day"...and that day doesnt come everyday.For me, last saturday was a Day i cannot forget.

When i came to know that L.Subramaniam was performing in Hyderabad, i couldnt contain my anxiety. i was in college and immediately rushed to library, to scan the newspaper. Luckily, i found the contact-person's phone number and found out the details of the show.

Venue: Shilpa Kalaa Vedhika, Shilparamam.

Time: 6:30pm.

Entry was free but people were asked to carry passes(for some security reasons), which were available at Idea Cellular-showroom near L.B.Stadium. Since work kept me busy, i immediately called up few friends, to know if they can get passes. While Aparna forgot about the passes, Prashanth managed to get them. we thought we wont be able to get them, since the passes are available to Idea Cellular customers only. but fortunately, Prashanth could get the passes by registering with the few idea-cell numbers(of his relatives) he has got. The good news hit me by 4:00pm and i wrapped up my work in the office.

By 6:15pm, we parked ourselves at the auditorium, waiting for Aparna. The real shock came to me when i noticed that hardly 100 people gathered there to attend the concert. L.Subramaniam playing and only 100 people! i wondered what happened to Hyderabad people & pitied them. People who spend a saturday evening watching some stupid movie in a multiplex, paying 100bucks dont realize what they are losing. Anways, i am/was/will not one of them. Prashanth & myself spent some time talking about few previous concerts we attended.I remembered one previous Fusion Concert of L.Subramaniam, at necklace road, which myself, Ravi & Ragz attened. It was another unforgettable concert and probably the first fusion concert i attended in my life. good old memories.

Meanwhile, quite casually, film-maker K.Vishwanath dropped in and sat next to us, when we were waiting outside the hall. Being an admirer of his films, especially the ones made in 80s, i couldnt keep mum and told him how much i have liked his films. with a smile, he autographed in my note-book.

My BP began to rose because it was already 6:45 and Aparna was nowhere to be seen. Finally, she made a cool entry at 7:05pm and fortunately, the show didnt start till then.

The show started with Hindustani Vocalist Sanjeev Abhyankar's rendition of Raag Yaman. he was accompanied by Tabla & Harmoium. Quite coincidentally, i heard him for the 1st time, quite recently, while writing some Cds of hindustani music. his rendition was marvelous & it amazed me, more so, because he could play around with his voice, as if it was not inside his throat but something in his hands. Superb tonal control. After mesmerizing the audience with Yaman, he proceeded with Raag "Madhukauns". This one is a newbie for me, or rather, i am a newbie to this raaga, because i havent heard about this raaga till now. Needless to say, he excelled in this one too. Hindustani singers have their own way of rendering the Gamakas and Sanjeev Abhyankar justified his stature as Pt.Jasraj's disciple. Infact Pt.Jasraj was seated among the VIP audience.

L.Subramaniam was to step in next, along with his son, Ambi Subramaniam, but some technical problems gave way for an irritatingly long break of 45 minutes. somewhere at 10:00pm, L.Subramaniam started off with Raag "Hamsadhwani" - "Vaathapi Ganapathim".but 5mins through the krithi, he could feel that something was going wrong and asked the audience if they were able to hear him. The sound of percussion instruments(thavil,ghatam,kanjira) dominated the violin and people were uneasy about it. he then realized that the D-I-Box was not able to recieve the signal from his violin(electric violin). He tried to work on it but nothing improved. Meanwhile, the percussion players went ahead with a jugalbandi session. Though L.Subramaniam apologized to the audience for not being able to perform, the audience insisted him, which made him try once again. The sound of percusssion instruments was lowered to maintain the violin volume up and fortunately it worked.

L.Subramaniam then took over and held the audience spell-bound with Raag Kaapi. It was one of the wonderful Kaapi Krithis i ever heard.Kaapi has its own "caressing-feel" to it, which is why i like it a lot.for me, it is a parallel to Raag-"Peelu" because Raag peelu renders a similar feel, though it is technically very different from raag Kaapi. The music was nothing short of Divine. i couldnt realize when it ended since it transported me into a different world altogether.An experience which i cannot trap in words.

On request, L.Subramaniam played another carnatic krithi, the raaga of which is unknown to me. somewhere close to 11:00pm, the concert drew to close.

The low audience number came to my advantage here. we met Sanjeev Abhyankar and congratulated him for the wonderful rendition. Then came one of the most unforgettable moments of my life. we walked up to Pt.Jasraj and took his blessings. He spoke about the role of youth in preserving the traditional music of india and expressed his concerns over the issue. For me, it was a moment i cannot forget because it was none other than Pt.Jasraj. We went up to the stage and touched the feet of L.Subramaniam. I told him how much i love his music, while Prashanth took his autograph. Pt.Jasraj too walked up and told L.Subramaniam that the music was very divine, more so, because the volume of percussion instruments was kept down and the sound of his violin was highlighted. It was truly an unbelievable moment since we were there interacting about music, with the legends themselves. The only thing i missed that day was a camera. If only i had carried one. L.Subramaniam and Pt.Jasraj, both floored me with their humility, which was evident with the way they spoke to common people. L.Subramaniam was totally down-to-earth and treated every person/fan approaching him with respect and happily obliged when people took photographs with him. Thats something we missed.

we left the auditorium with a sense of gratification, both, musically and also emotionally...because it is not everyday that we can meet legends, talk with them..everyday is not Our Day..but last Saturday was something special.

Blessed!

Ecstasy by an Ensemble.

2006-05-28T22:10:00.000+05:30

1 Santoor.
1 Bass-Guitar.
1 Flute.
1 Sitar
1 Saxophone.
1 Indian Violin.
1 Piano
4 Tablas.
1 Jazz-trap kit.
2 Keyboards.
1 Viola
1 Electric Mandolin.
1 Mohana Veena.
1 Electric Violin.
2 Cellos.
80 piece violin orchestra.
20 member Female choir.

Let the ensemble play Raag Bhageeswari.
Let me drown in the musical waves of Ecstasy...

Ziddi....Hum Bhi Yahaan!

2006-05-14T02:25:00.000+05:30

khalbali hai khalbali..khalbali hai khalbali..
khalbali hai khalbali.. hai khalbali..

shola shola balkhaye...dariya dariya lehraye..
zarra zarra tharraye..hai khalbali...

khalbali hai khalbali..khalbali hai khalbali..
khalbali hai khalbali.. hai khalbali..

Ziddi...ziddi ziddi..hai toofaan...
Ziddi..Hum bhi yahaan!

hone hone de nasha.. khone khone ko hai kya..
ek saans mein pee jaa.. zara zindagi chadaa..
hai yeh toh ek jashan.. tu thirakne de kadam..
abhi saanson mein hai dum.. abhi chalne de sitam..
aankhon mein hai khalbali..dhadkanon mein khalbali..
mausamo mein khalbali..hai khalbali..
kaisi yeh tabdili hai..sheeshi botal pee li hai..
raat neeli neeli hai..hai khalbali..
hum lapatke saaye hai..hum sulagne aaye hai..
ghar bataa ke aaye hai..hai khalbali..
khalbali hai khalbali..khalbali hai khalbali..
khalbali hai khalbali.. hai khalbali..

Ziddi..Hum bhi yahaan!

- Lyrics by Prasoon Joshi (from Rang De Basanti)

Envoi as Envoy

2006-05-06T00:56:00.000+05:30

When we two first met, my heart sang out in music,
“ She who is eternally afar is beside you for ever”.
That music is silent, for I believed,
that love is always near, and never far
and have forgotten that she is far, far away.
But being far, she came near,
and sang my unsung thoughts.
Music fills the infinite between two souls,
And this has been muffled by a mist unknown.

On shy summer nights, alone in my room,
When the breeze brings a vast murmur out of the silence,
I sit up in my bed and long for her who is beside me.
I ask myself,” when shall I have another chance to whisper,
To her words with the rhythm of eternity in them?”
Wake up my dear song, put on the wings of my thoughts,
And fly to my beloved there,
In the endless surprise of our first meeting…

Why?

2006-04-25T01:10:00.000+05:30

As i turn over the pages,
your face shows up,
somewhere on the other side.
Why?

A lot of our story still exists here, unfinished.
smiles & joys, woven along,
with seething silences sometimes.
all etched here and there,
carrying the burden of remembrances.
these blank pages,
fragranced by each of them,
like those from an old book.
Yet, these black doodles become dry,
and at times, seem to invoke fire.
Why?

Strange!that it is only in my dream-I have seen you
and i still wake up with moist eyes.
Why?

Value of a Value-Added Service

2006-04-20T12:08:00.000+05:30

No matter how hard we try to make some things happen, something just snaps in the end. so does our patience. Owing to some career obligations, i was too preoccupied on my mind which kept me away from blogging all the while.To be brutally honest with my ownself, i can blog everyday and i would like it...Afterall tis is my own page which i wuld love/hate to look after 'n' (n=1-30 days/months/years) years. But now that something has really snapped, i feel very relieved to come back to my ownself. Now i think-" do i blog only when life hits on two extremes?". I think i must reorganise my time so that i can encapsulate my thoughts when i am swinging between these two extremes.Must give up this habit of writing only when my position becomes static at extremes.

As i typed along, just now, i received an SMS on my mobile. "Fall in Love-Service", by Airtel. One of those dating fundas, but i am amazed at that statement, "Fall in love service". Great, Kudos to those moronic brains who are making a business out of it. so, it is not just sex, even Love sells. and probably we all are running after the bigbucks only to buy these pseudo-feelings so that we can curl around in the compromise-zone and enjoy the life to bliss. Just read yesterday that the Mobile music market in valued at Rs.500 crores while the legal Music Industry in india itself is valued at Rs.700 crores. With lakhs of people switching over to mobile every month, the aue of Mobile music industry is expected to increase atleast by 30% in the coming year , which means it would be overtaking the actual Source. Now, if you are wondering what this mobile music industry means- Ring tones and caller back tones where the caller will get to listen to a song when he rings up someone.The Piracy thing has greatly impacted the legal music industry and now, with mobile music industry ready to overtake it, i guess it is going to hit the rocks.

We already have dating agencies, real and virtual, which facilitate/induce this so called "Love" (utter hogwash) and they are already minting great bucks, to the tune of billions.just imagine how would it be, if these "Fall-in-Love" services on mobile emerge as key-verticals in the Value added services in Mobile Market. How big the market could be? how many people would fall for it? and how would their mental-makeups change, once they flow/drown in this madness?How would they be, to talk with, if we meet them, sometime in future? how would the relationships be?the chemistry? the growth in them?More so, what would be the real Value of this Value-added-service called "Love", in our lives?

New blog : Trivenis

2006-04-01T06:55:00.000+05:30

Time is 7:00am. Very unsual that i am awake at this hour. No, the sun hasnt come up from the west. It is just that i havent slept at all. From the past 7 hrs, my eyes are glued to this computer. After many days, myself & ravi worked together, online, to come up with something productive, atleast on the creative front. We just finished giving the finishing touches to a new blog "Triveni".

A new blog on which we plan to put up some Three line verses (Triplets) called Trivenis, took the entire night. i had to compile few verses while Ravi , impressed by their form and style, started off with his own Trivenis. i couldnt resist more and posted them too. Meanwhile,our discussions steered towards the look for the blog and within no time, we were on the job of template-hunting. Ravi came with couple of templates, of which i choose the one depicting Full-Moon on a Night.Can't help, as you can observe my fixation for Night is evident in most of my writings.well! I hold the copyrights you see.

Ravi had some tough time meddling with the template so that the look gets it right.We then had to make lot of adjustments, like links, fonts, getting the header-names right etc.,. Finally, the result is cool.it has to be, for it is me and ravi who worked on it.Alter-Egoz you see.

Somehow, the feeling we experience when we collaborate on something, big or small or minute, is really different. It reminded me of those days when we used to spend hours and hours with each other...either with tapes or keyboards or even utensils and bottles,partially-filled with water...so that we can use them as percussions. Then, there were days when we used to go for a drive, talking about everything under the sky. Either it had to be destinationless-aimless drive or a drive which ended at a bench on the footpath of Osmania university or Landscape Garden or just any place.

I know i am getting nostalgic, but it happens right! since both myself and ravi, took out time , after so many days, to have a endless-chat with each other, free from other worldly-mundane pressures, while working in tandem, on/for something we both greatly adore...Writing.

Anyways, Coming back to that blog, i am currently fascinated with these Triplets, so you will see me more active there.Yet, i cant let this blog lie idle...After all, thoughts dont stop flying.

An Affair with Night

2006-03-25T23:04:00.000+05:30

The Night is Breathing its last.
Stranded streets, desolated clouds,
soundless skies and my own room...
Blotches of silence have descended everywhere.
The poisonous silence of this night,
has drunk the remains of the chaotic day,
and the night is breathing its last.
Amidst all the longing, in these last moments,
Bequeath it with your husky whisper,
and relieve it from the suffering for tonight.

Epilogue:

The night flamed a cold breath in her soul...
Before going away, the night took me closer,
and placed her cold lips on mine,
to kiss out the breath of her soul...
bequeathing it unto my warm lips,
she retreated away.
its an addiction i have got these days...
- to taste the life of every day.
- to drink the poison of every night.

My Spirit.

2006-03-24T21:35:00.000+05:30

Its good to be Free...

Like an endless thought... i fly,

into the lap of every sky,

which beckons me...

aah! its so good to be free...

Brain Drain

2006-03-11T19:52:00.000+05:30

In 1998, the renowned Indian Institute of Technology sent 30 percent of all of its graduates to the U.S., including 80 percent of its computer science graduates. Indian Govt. spends over Rs.10Lakhs on each IIT graduate, during his IIT stint.

Much of the R&D in India goes to service research projects of only Imperialistic Countries.

The number of students flying to USA have increased double-fold in 1990s, compared to 1980s. A meaty chunk of this population have secured H1-B visas (working visas) and later on "GREEN CARDS" and are serving USA.

As on March 2001, more than a million Indian-born individuals were residing in the United States — more than double since 1990.

According to UNDP 2001, of the 81,000 U.S. visas approved between October 1999 and 2000, 40 percent were for Indians, of whom more than half were computer-related professionals, a sixth for sciences and engineering.

In 2001, the net fiscal loss associated with the U.S. Indian-born resident population ranges from 0.24% to 0.58% of its GDP.

The United Nations reports that India loses $ 2 billion a year in resources through the brain-drain of 100,000 skilled computer professionals to US alone.

When will this end?How?

Well'come Mr.Bush.

2006-02-26T19:29:00.000+05:30

For a change, i wish to post a write-up which is not mine. In today's TOI, eminent comunmnist Jug Suriaya wrote the following, since George Bush is visiting India. Good Spoof.

Here's Condy, come to give me a last-minute briefin' before I set off on my tour to Indiana beginnin' March 1. Hiya, Condy. I'm all set to go off to Indiana. What's that? I goin' not to Indiana — which is part of the good ole US of A — but to India which is a different place altogether? Well, well, you live an' learn every day. I always thought India was in Indiana, which is why they called it Indiana. Maybe when I'm there I should see if I could organise that somehow.
Condy says that the most important thing on my agenda in India is the nuclear deal. After all these years of sayin' 'no' to the Indian nuclear program, the US now wants to help India nuclearise like all get out. I ask Condy why. An' she tells me that if we don't give India nuclear energy, India and China will burn up all the world's oil. An' that would never do. 'Cos as a Texas oil man I know that it's only the US in general — an' Texas in particular — which has the God-given right to burn up all the world's oil. Condy says I'm not to ask too many questions about India's fast breeder projects. An' I tell Condy, Gee, I'd never ask anyone any questions about their breeder projects. I mean, with a population of a billion-plus, India must sure have one lulu of a fast breeder project, an' then some. But that's their business. We folk from Texas believe in the missionary position an' we don't talk in public about how people breed.

Condy asks me what will I say if the Indians ask me if I intend to launch a strike against Iran. An' I say, Heck, Condy, you know I don't believe in strikes an' all that labour union stuff. Nah, I'll just tell the Indians that I'll invite the Iranians over for a nice friendly bird shoot with my pardner, Dick Cheney. That'll take care of the Iranians, once and for all. Condy warns me that the Indians are likely to ask for a larger quota of H1B visas from the US. This surprises me. I know all foreigners are weirdos. Come to think of it, all those outside of Texas are weirdos. But why would these Indian weirdos, or anyone else, want a larger quota of HIV from the US? Don't they have enough AIDS of their own? Condy says, H1B not HIV. An' I say, H1B, huh? What do you know. There's a new disease every day. I'd say it was a result of global warmin'. Except of course I don't believe in global warmin' an' the Coyote Protocol an' all that environmental horseshit. Condy tells me I've gotta watch out for tricky questions on Iraq an' what I'm plannin' to do about gettin' out of Iraq an' settin' up a democratic rule there.

An' I tell her, Hey, that's simple. Democratic rule is what they want, right? I'll give 'em Democratic rule. Pack Al Gore and all them other Democrats to Iraq an' let them rule the place. That'll take care of everythin'. Includin' Al Gore. Condy tells me that Indians have this funny thing about hyphens. Like they'll invite you to a party-sharty, an' offer you a drink-shrink, an' some dinner-winner. But they don't like us Americans to use hyphens at all, particularly where Pakistan is concerned. Got it, I said. No Bush-Mush cracks, right? Condy says she hopes Bill won't upstage me by visitin' India the same time as I do. And I say, Clinton's visitin' India again? An' she says, Not that Bill, the other Bill, who's an even bigger hit in India than Clinton is. I don't know which Bill she's talkin' about. Bill Cosby? The Bill of Rights? Whatever. Condy says I must learn to say 'Hi' in Indian. An' I tell her, Don't worry, I know all about these ethnic greetings. When in India, you fold your hands together, an' smile, an' say: Sayonara. Or is it Gesundheit?

Hazy

2006-02-14T23:40:00.000+05:30

Was it a long Hiatus? Not really! The exile stretched, but not for one month atleast. "But why", some might ask. Well, i was in a mood to practise the culture of Silence.

Many things happened over the last 25 days. I should have written about a couple of them on the blog, like Rang De Basanti movie review or my Trip to Coorg..but i couldnt write, which itself is another notable thing.

The run in Life has paced up to great extent these days."Days are moving fast"-said somone recently. Well, how come the days speed up or slow up! do they? they are afterall man-made creations...to measure time. They dont have life right! we pour life or lifelessness into days & nights...so, when we feel that time is moving slow, it is we who lie in the dungeons of lifelessness. So, when we fill our days with lively endeavours or even hectic work, we feel that days are moving fast.

My days intermittently move from swift-pace to slow-pace.infact, if the day runs fast, the night crawls.But many times, the day itself stretches into night..or rather..the things which i do (or hope to do in the day) stretch into the night thus blurring the line between day and night. No! i am not sweating out to make a career. Its just that i am trying to make something and i dont know whether anything worth will come out of it. As always, i cling to only one thing at the end of the day--HOPE.

To describe HOPE, we generally use two metaphors...Ray of Light...as in Ray of Hope..or a Thread..to which we cling..swing or whatever. And people like me embrace Hope, even in the worst situations...i call it "Being Hopelessly Hopeful"...thats what i am. because it is really difficult to dismiss one's hope and surrender to reality even though we practically know what the outcome of a certain crisis would be. Ok, if you think that i have made a stupid attempt to steer the thought towards another topic, then you are close to predicting me right. but not always.

The reason why i am wandering aimlessly in this post is that i have too many thoughts..inundated in my mind...waiting to breakfree and flow out...Forget it, let me come back to that word "Crisis". i dont have the patience to look into oxford dictionary to give the exact meaning, but yes, i can very well say that the definition would be a relative one. it has to be so. What seems like a crisis in my life ceases to appear so after a week..or 10days.So, is it again a Time-bound Perception.

today, in a class, i just tried to write down something which have created a havoc(over-statement) in my life recently.

Not many months ago, i lost my shoes. Then, i lost my spectacles. i got new ones. but then, they didnt last long. i lost them in no time. this time, Managing Finances was a tough task..but i managed to manage some and got new ones made. Next, i lost my Helmet. After that, my Parker pen, which had been my close-associate since 3-4 yrs. Now, i lost my spectacles again. i dont know when this cycle will break.

In Managerial Techniques, Time management holds a great significance. And while trying to become a good manager(ie.,.a financial manager...but the above paragraph aptly describes the paradox when it comes to me..isnt it a kind of oxymoron), i am a hopeless manager of time. thanks to that, many things are going for a toss. Social commitments, Family commitments, Blogging, Rapport with buddies, music, writing everything...and the tragedy is that i dont know where i am heading to..and what do i want in life. its such a haphazard journey that it pricks me everyday..The sense of direction seem to be totally hazy. If life is all about finding a job and making quick bucks, then that can be called as having a clear-cut agenda about career. But what about Life?isnt it different from career? everything is as confused as you are right now, reading this post, trying to figure out what this is all about.but thats exactly is the essential question haunting me.

And all bundled together is the crisis of my life currently. yet, i am still clinging to that glistening thread called Hope...a hope to find out what i want actually... there again you end up at my previous post.

When will the cycle break?

What Am i Missing?What do I want?

2006-01-17T19:12:00.000+05:30

From looking at the 8:00am-showing clock to groping for towel with thoughts of "Am i late?" to hurrying up to bathroom songs to what to wear now to checking the number of downloads(by morning, through nite) to rushing out without breakfast to rearranging the scattered thoughts( & recollecting the dreams) while driving to a couple of Hellos to interest rate parities to exchange rate mechanisms to spot-rate future rates to financial risk management to problems to solutions to mistakes to frustrations to retrospections to regrets to a cup to tea to dollar-rupee markets to lunch to chitteratti to checking e-mails to income tax to deductions to depreciation to commercial banking to bach's"running from safety" to downloading r.d.burman songs to pondering over Emptiness & Nothingness to e-mails to Company analysis to net profits to GDP to industry sectors to downloading a song to P/E ratios to financial indicators to performances to jokes to Bye-Byes to struggling to get into Bus to "how was the day" kind of thoughts to introspections to room for other thoughts to "oh my God its 10:00pm" to hogging dinner to copying downloaded songs to enqueueing more downloads to Times of India to fone calls to Business Standard to security analysis to "lets call it a day" to inexplicable solitude-filled thoughts to music of zakhm to sleep.

All through this journey of one-day...What am i missing? what do i want?

Up'Beat' Narcissism

2006-01-06T11:31:00.000+05:30

Narcissism too has certain limits.But some people cross such limits too. I was more-than-shocked to read the Tribute to R.D.Burman by Anu Malik, on the occasion of 11th death anniversary of one of the foremost pioneers of modern music,R.D.Burman. Anu Malik showers more of insult than tribute on the legend, by comparing himself with R.D.Burman. I dont know where from he had gathered the audacity to do that, but it really reflects the heights of arrogance he has touched, all by dishing out the crappiest music ever. Absolutely ridiculous were statements like :

I could see that suddenly, at the last moment, he changed whatever music he had composed and whatever his musicians were playing.
Today, I find the same trait in myself -- I change my music at the last moment if I find it is not gelling.

He was a complete and versatile composer. He could give you an Amar Prem and a Teesri Manzil at the same breath --which, if you notice, I have done when I did while I composed Judwaa and Refugee and Virasat and Border. They are two different genres of music.

You fall in love with those tunes a million times because he made music from his heart -- the way I make it now. That was the USP of his music, which I have tried in my music -- by making melodic tunes.

So,Anu Malik thinks that his JUDWAA, which has songs like Oonchi hai building...lift bhi bandh hai..is in the same breadth as Teesri Manzil. Or his Refugee (which has a mish-mash of all old songs) could be this day's Amar Prem. Good for him, for i now stongly believe that Anu Malik was completely drunk when he gave this interview. Either he is drunk, or on coke, or the only final possibility is that he has lost his sanity and requires immediate medical treatment. He definitely doesnt know what he is talking or atleast doesnt understand the gravity of his statements.

I am quite sure that Anu Malik has dished out atleast 100 soundtracks(err! sorry..i doubt if this bastard can understand the real meaning of the word Soundtrack.) ..i mean..he must have scored for over 100films. Not even a Single score has a completely ORIGINAL work and yet he dares to put up such a conceit without any shame.

Well, this is the age of self-appreciation, which is prevalent more in the Hindi Film Industry based in Bombay. A couple of days ago, i read an intervew of composer Ismail Darbar in the same rediff.com, in which, he claimed that his work was always better than A.R.Rahman. Darbar, who had not yet composed for 10 films till now, making such a statement about A.R.Rahman who has been around since 10years, with some phenomemal scores in his kitty. that was the most callous comparision, i felt, when i read that.

But now, Anu Malik has put Ismail Darbar's arrogance to shame. Being among the most filthiest composers list, he doesnt even hesitate for a moment, to boast about his work. And even when he does, he has only Border & Refugee to talk about. Border is one of the most stale & Pale scores ever and Refugee can be credited to yester-year composers Ravi+Roshan etc.,., with ample sound arrangements from Ranjit Barot, who later on designed the sound for Aks. with all that, can they atleast hold a SMALL-candle to R.D.Burman's compositions? How could he even Dream about such a comparision? And what next, would he compare himself to S.D.Burman? or Salil Chaudhary? Or Madan Mohan?(i would definitely stab him to death if he does that) No, just wait and Watch, the next comparision would be with Khaiyyam, for Anu Malik is composing the music for a new remake of Umrao Jaan.

And dont be surprised if other composers take inspiration from this Bastard.after this, we can now see Nadeem Shravan comparing themselves with Shankar-JaiKishan or to hit the abyss, R.P.Patnaik comparing himself with Master Venu or S.Rajeswara Rao or for that matter even Ilaiyaraaja.

But yes, for the first time, on R.D's Death anniversary, i felt glad that he is not around. If he were, he would have surely suffered a Heart-stroke, reading Anu Malik's mega-narcissistic statements.Who knows! he must have tossed in his Grave. If only i could dig a Grave for Anu Malik, that too thousands of Kilometers away from R.D's...coz thats where he is & deserves to be, even in music.

( i couldnt stain by mavericks blog with 'bastard'anu malik's content, hence i discharged my anger here)

Yours Self-Indulgently

2006-01-02T22:41:00.000+05:30

I love myself immersed in my own world,
Trying to Solve the enigmatic mysteries…
of life…out of arrogance…
& Of my life…out of ignorance…
I understand myself and my world, sometimes,
And yet how little I know,
The songs of my thoughts, their poetry,
Their images…hues & their patterns,
Rhymeless Rhythms…
Few relationships…
like threads...
tied....and untied…
tried and untried…
The voice of my body…
my smiles…& few Silent Passages…
Trenches of Emptiness…
And skies of fullness…
All these known to me...
--- yet unknown…

I love you too because,
You are nearest to me,
like my own self.
I understand you too, your world,
The songs of silences, unwritten poems,
Woven in the rustic interludes,
Of the winter melodies…
Broken & unbroken…
Spoken & Unspoken…
Those hidden images of your life,
Hanging in the worlds unexplored,
All your nameless thoughts…
Known and yet some seemingly unknown.
Isn’t it strange that,
You are myself’s self,
And still, As obscure to me…
--- As my own self…

Potrait of an Orphan

2005-12-27T23:16:00.000+05:30

An orphaned tsunami survivor cries as she pays homage to the tsunami victims in Nagapattinam on Monday.

One Family...
for her.
And one wave...
of Water...
It came,
Ruining it..
Leaving only ruins...
of their images...
amassed as Tears...
for her.
what sin did she commit,
she herself doesnt know.
A wave of memories...
washed ashore,
in the sea of one tear-drop.
on her cheek.
One Orphan...

U-Know-Who....Untold Episodes of The Legend

2005-12-17T14:58:00.000+05:30

Extracts from The Adventures of U-Know-Who.

I wish to share a couple of episodes from the Life of U-know-who, which he narrated to me, with excruciating details.

Episode-1

Once upon a time in hyderabad, U-know-who got to take 20 pple to Industrial exhibition(which runs every year in the month of Jan).Mind you, he didnt go with 20guys but he had to take them...viz..drive them to the exhibition.Now, thats natural..for the importance(effectively affecting) he holds in the lives people living around him and also his near & dear. anyways, those 20 guys( males+females..apparently his cousins & most importantly his maamaajis daughters..Ahem!) being huge fans of u-know-who, wanted him to be with them for all the time they got to spend there.what more! with no dilly-dallying, they wanted to drench themselves in the raining affection of only u-know-who, for which, they asked him to buy a whole-lot-of-things.i cannot remember much about the purchases but it has been told that quite-a-lot has been bought. then came the fun part..err..i mean..the fun rides...the entire gang, apparently, were on a ride-spree and enjoy all the thrills ( & frills) ..after a fulltoo joy-ride session which included Tora-Tora,Giant wheel and stuff like that. the bill for all the thrill..went to u-know-who..and his wallet was heading for a kill. and after the thrill, it was time to chill.U-know-who was on a major spending spree, buying all the piping hot samosas & bhel puris and other chat'ty stuff.apparently the weight of his wallet was not showing much difference, even though u-know-who had taken the onus of entertaining 20fans from his family circle."what else", i thought, listening to the narration..but to my surprise..u-know-who..instead of adding more..has infact edited the story out and shot a final question at me.

"How much do you think i had to shell down that night?"

as always, i had only silence(in awwwwe of him) to respond with. But u-know-who is not an easy man to give up. He demands participation and will prolong the suspense to an eternity until you please him wth the question,"how much?".But then,he doesnt prolong it with silence either.instead, he shoots the order,"Ask how much? Ask me! Come on...Ask me". Finally, when i surrendered to him and asked "How much??", he broke the suspense with is unbelievable answer,"Rs.10000/-".
being a sane man(sometimes atleast),i casually asked ,"How come u carried so much Cash?".

His reply was a revelation of sorts.."I didnt have so much money. I had to use my card everywhere i spent".Everywhere! Thanks to him, for he reminded me through this story, the kind of Progress made by Information Technology in hyderabad.January is fast-approaching and i am eagerly looking forward to swipe my debit card to have a hott Mirchi-Bajji and some joy-ride thrills..

Episode-2

U-know-who had to go to Karimnagar(a district in Andhra Pradesh) in car, along with a friend of his and two girls (when it comes to girls, even James Bond is dwarfed by U-Know-who..i shall narrate his advantures with damsels in future posts). As always, he was driving and one of the females challenged the very basic skills of his life, Speed... within no time, he pulled the throttle..i mean..changed the gears and the car shot from 45kmph to 145kmph in 5 seconds. Ok, Pardon me for forgetting the brand of the car but on the flipside, had i known that, i would have immediately contacted the engineers ,who worked on the car.. only to enlighten their ignorance. I wish they knew that the car was capable of going beyond their expectations and their skill. And only one man discovered it. Ofcourse, he later touched a speed of 205kmph , only to silence that female...which is altogether a different-but-nothing-new-story.

Some habits are too hard to give up.

Credits :

U-Know-Who...for giving me a melodramatic edge-of-the-seat narration, the aesthetic & out-of-the-world quality of which.. i couldnt even dare to touch.

Albert Einstein..for his aphorism,"Imagination is far more powerful than Knowledge", which eventually turned out to be the motto of the one & only...U-Know-Who.

All Night Long...

2005-12-06T18:03:00.000+05:30

Though not on Public Demand...But on somebody's demand...an Early-Amateur work.

All night long---the effort to make out,
---------------------the meaning in your silence,
---------------------kept me from sleeping.
---------------------the silences fathomed,
---------------------are enigmatic... still...

All night long---a strong pulse beat,
---------------------inside and outside me,
---------------------trying to image,
---------------------the purpose of your silence.
---------------------the image is blurred... still...

All night long---the words unspoken,the tune unknown,
---------------------traced and retraced their lines,
---------------------into the truth in our hearts.
---------------------the truth and the songs,
---------------------are suppressed... still...

All night long---i waited for you,
---------------------to come and read out my poems,
---------------------sitting beside in moon-shine,
---------------------holding my palm affectionately.
---------------------i am waiting... still...

U-Know-Who.........The Saviour

2005-12-04T11:36:00.000+05:30

An extract from the Life of U-Know-Who:

Scene-1

An unknown guy, apparently a friend of U-Know-Who, got out of his house, after an argument with his parents..in a fit of anger...Like an angry-young-man of 70s films, he got into his car (maruthi) and began driving at a high speed. Unfortunately, the direction is not known..i mean..he himself didnt know where he was heading..but he was on the way to some place. He crossed the city outskirts and took a Highway..where he drove with such a speed that even japanese cars are put to shame. The scene ends with the car zooming past and fading behind the horizon.

Scene 2

The telephone rang. U-Know-who answered the call.Silence...he didnt speak a word for few minutes..(the camera infront of him moves upclose to his cover his facial expressions)..who is it?what is he/she saying that froze the facial nerves of you-know-who? Finally, to kill the suspense or rather to penetrate it more, he said "I'm coming...". As soon as he hung up that call, the teleohone rang again..this time again, silence..(we dont know who is on the other side? )..but much to our relief, you-know-who said,"its ok aunty...i will take care of it...you dont worry". Now you see..the suspense is partially broken..but not completely.

Scene 3

U-Know-Who got into his car and raced past the city roads. Within no time, he was out of hyderabad, driving in the same unknown direction..but on the very same highway...the only change is that you-know-who has broken the speed record set by his friend, for he is driving at a speed of 200Km/Hr...sorry..infact he crossed it..now, imagine the needle of the speedometer completing a full 720 degrees (360X2=720.. given the fact that its a maruthi..i think the max speed the speedometer reads is 120kmph..am i right?...isnt this really bad..that a car allows speeds greater than 140kmph but doesnt let the speedometer reveal it...anyways..our you-know-who could calculate it mentally..).Within no time(obviously), he reached a place where his friend was waiting for him. His car screeched to a halt...he got down and asked his friend,"what happened?"

Scene 4 (flashback)

The car his friend was driving reached a place near kurnool...forget roads, forget traffic..i mean..he forgot all of it and was still driving at great speed (not as much as u-know-who..mind u..u-know-who is unique in everything..whatever he does..) . something happened in a blink and his car flew and somersaulted in the air...like in-a-typical-tamil-film-of-Vijaykanth. After sufficient turns, the car finally surrendered to Gravity ..but in a very unique way. The car hit the ground Head-ON...90-degrees to the ground...Not a degree more-not a degree less...and since the ground was actually a wet paddy field, the car actually got stuck in that perpendicular position because the center of gravity of the car was exactly in the line of perpendicularity. Fortunately, his friend was very much safe(didnt i tell you that vijaykanth films are inspired by real-life incidents)..and got out of the car...though the car was still stuck perpendicular to the field with its nose punched in. flashback ends.

Scene 5

his friend pointed his finger at the car and you-know-who was surprised to see a car standing in verical position. now, it has to be brought back to its normal position...But is the job easy? certainly not..because the paddy field which was wet when the car smooched it, has now dried up...thanks to the intensely blazing sun rays..and it was already noon..An idea flashed in the mind of You-know-who...Immediately, he got into the car and drove ahead (this time, at a much lesser speed of just 150kmph) to a village. He gathered some people from there and got them to this site. with their help, finally, the car was brought back to its normal position..

Scene 6

U-Know-who took his friend to his home and the anxious parents breathed a sigh of relief...They thanked u-know-who for the glorious deed of saving his friend's life...His friend too couldnt couldnt control his emotions and hailed u-know-who as a........................Super Hero.
all is well...that ends well.

---As narrated by U-Know-Who.

PS: now dont ask impertinent questions like what happened to that awesome car. If that little suspense is not maintained, there wouldnt be any Enigma associated with You-Know-Who...The Saviour.